My mother died at the age of 78 in 2010. She would not have been happy to live to see this day. My mother was an early and proud participant in the Women’s Movement, a member of the National Organization for Women, and there was something else about her that I didn’t know until I was about 14, because she hadn’t told me. My older brother knew about it, though. When I asked my mother to tell me about it, she was very upset. It was none of my business, and it remained acutely painful for her to think about it, but I wanted to know.
In 1969, when I was 4 years old, my mother had a surprise pregnancy. She told me that she and my father were happy and wanted the child, until they found out from amniocentesis results that the fetus had a severe abnormality that would have resulted in a degenerative spinal cord condition, leading to a short and excruciating life if the child was born. My parents agreed that out of love for the fetus, abortion was the obvious choice. But you see, abortion was illegal in New York in 1969, and according to my mother, severe fetal abnormality was not an exception. So she asked various women she knew in the neighborhood for recommendations, and they told her about an ob-gyn who felt that because he knew how to perform abortions, he had the moral responsibility to help women who needed them, and did them illegally at a clinic in the South Bronx. But because abortion was a felony in those days, he could provide only local anaesthesia and rushed my mother out of the clinic right away after the procedure. The following year, he was arrested, and spent some years in prison.
Because her experience was so painful and demeaning, my mother never had any respect for people who had a principled opposition to abortion, saying that they had no right to tell people what to do.
I was sorry I upset my mother by asking her about an experience that was so painful for her, but I’m glad I know about it, because it made my opposition to forced birth more personal. After her death, when I had enough disposable income to start making contributions to organizations, I resumed my mother’s tradition of contributing to Planned Parenthood every year. That way, I can honor her while helping to fund an organization I believe in and rights I believe in — the right to have an abortion if you so choose and the right to have free or low-cost pre-natal, STD and cancer care.
Today is one in many dark days we will get from this extremist, partisan Republican court. It’s a day to understand the human impact of Supreme Court decisions and think about what you will do to mitigate the damage and fight to undo it, however long it takes. But it’s not a day to despair of having any power to do anything (or if it is, mourn today and start planning to act tomorrow). After the summer, I plan to examine my finances and hope to contribute to organizations that are helping women and girls in forced-birth states to obtain safe abortions. I encourage all of you to do so, too. And above all, don’t forget to vote and don’t forget that when candidates say they mean to put people on the Supreme Court who will abolish personal rights and freedoms or vote to abolish such rights and freedoms at the state level, we need to take them at their word.
