At a packed news conference held today at the Volunteer Fire Department meeting hall - the only place in town big enough - Police Chief Ricky Noodnick identified the suspect responsible for the recent rash of vandalism, missing items and petty aggravations that have been plaguing this small nondescript town.
"We believe that the perpetrator is one Abigail van Basset", the Chief began. "She has quite a lengthy record, going all the way back to when she spent a good deal of her time tearing up Pee Pads instead of...er...using them for their intended purpose."
"We had occasion to detain the suspect a month or so ago on suspicion of mole hunting on a neighbor's property, but since there were no witnesses or legible paw prints, we released her in her own recognizance. Volunteers are passing out the mug shot taken at that time."
Below is the mug shot referred to by the Chief.
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