And the LORD said, “This site is an abomination. AmIrite?”
The LORD looked out upon the work of Kos and his minions and was not pleased. He said, “I have commanded them to use larger fonts. Did I not say, ‘Ye people must use larger graven fonts so that the weak-eyed among you can continue to read easily’?’ Did I not send you the Angel Gutenberg to assist you?
Have I not said, “Ye shall write on tablets of dark wax or strike the words into dark gray stone and NOT use the glaring white of bleached papyrus lest ye be struck with a head pain or eye derangement,” ? (The Book of Ben-Judah Kharson, Pyramid Granary Builder.)
Were you, my people, not instructed in how to use margins to make writings pleasing to the eye? And, did I not give you knowledge of buttons, HTML, hyperlinks and other features to use for better writing, reading and ease of use? (Book of Geekzekiel.)
Did I not instruct you to listen to your brethren when they cried unto you, “The type is too light, the page is too white, the margins are too bright! “ But, no you turned away from them and their cries for relief.
Yea, I command you to rectify all of these things and more. Make a pleasant and comely reading for the eyes of the LORD. I want a better job (no, not that Job) from the DK5 IT staff and executives.
Do so and you will be blessed with a freshet of Democratic wins in the next election. Fail to do so and Cruz will be your lot. For your penance, you must sacrifice an old, wrinkled, gray and rich American elephant in my name and he shall be called “Cheney.” If the sacrifice is not good, never fear, I have the names of many other sacrificial elephants that may be used until my anger is assuaged. Lo, I am so pissed that it may take dozens of American elephants to calm my wrath. I have a list of names that I will give to you in case your first sacrifice does not please me. Even if the American herd is sent into extinction, I must be appeased.
No, go forth and do as I have commanded, lest My wrath fall upon you and your servers (mechanical and human, both.)
A word to the wise is sufficient. Republicans need at least a paragraph.
All of the current RepubliCON Clown Car candidates currently running are a few gyri short of a whole cerebral cortex.