Emotional turbulence is nothing new to me, with regards to my marriage, at least. We've been together for 15 yrs, 13 1/2 of them married, happiness intermintent. But I loved him, he never had to question that. I loved him.
I loved him through the abuse, telling myself the hate wasn't him. I loved him when I left him the first time, making sure he knew the love wasn't gone, just my ability to tolerate the constant anger. I gave it to him freely, because for all I lack, I have love to spare. And he needed it so badly. So it was his.
But he doesn't want it anymore, and my heart is just failing me today. It hurts to breathe.
Update: I wanted to say thank you. The support given by Kossaks is the best support around, and I cannot tell you how much it means to me. Thank you.
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