At an impromptu news conference today, Senator John McCain revealed that he had just returned from the Monroe Republic where he met with a prominent rebel leader.
I had several fruitful discussions with General Miles Maheson and his staff over the past several hours at a location a few miles from the border with Georgia. They need our help with both heavy weapons and with the difficult task of turning the power back on in their region. We must act soon.When one reporter pointed out that his narrative sounded remarkably similar to the plot of a popular, yet deeply flawed Monday night television program, Revolution, McCain appeared to become agitated.
Look David, we cannot simply allow this tyranny to continue in the Monroe Republic so close to our own borders. The rebels frankly do not understand why we won’t help them. Tim Russert would have understood this implicitly.After an awkward silence, a reporter from the Howard Stern Show asked the senator whether he was aware that he was not appearing on Meet the Press, but was instead standing on his own front porch in Virginia wearing a pair of Doctor Denton pajamas with the flap undone, and appeared to have an oblong Ambien tablet stuck to his lower lip.
Senator McCain then told the assembled group of reporters to “get off my lawn,” turned, and marched back inside his house. The normally unflappable members of the press were visibly embarrassed, each attempting to avert his or her eyes, with the exception of the Wall Street Journal’s Peggy Noonan, who maintained an unfocused stare as she clutched her
kneepads string of pearls long after the door had slammed shut.