You May Not Remember Me, But You'll Remember the Kitty

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Thursday March 12, 2009 · 9:38 AM PDT

2009/03/12 · 09:38

Hey there. My name is Karateexplosions. I haven't posted for a couple of weeks, but you probably remember me -- What? You don't have any idea who I am?

Damn. Well maybe THIS will refresh your memory!

Yes, I am the guy who crudely draws pictures of cats in MS Paint.

Poll

194 votes Show Results

My Feelings Toward Crudely Drawn Kitty:

194 votes Vote Now!

My Feelings Toward Crudely Drawn Kitty:

Haven't Changed -- I Still Love Him

76 votes

Haven't Changed -- I Still Hate Him

3 votes

Has Changed -- I Love Him Even More Now

82 votes

Has Changed -- He Has Been Sullied By The Shitty Website

33 votes

Kurt Warner: "God Is To Blame For This Loss"

karateexplosions

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Sunday February 01, 2009 · 11:05 PM PST

2009/02/01 · 23:05

Tampa, FL (KE) -- Kurt Warner, the 37-year-old veteran quarterback for the Arizona Cardinals, blamed the Christian God for the team's heartbreaking loss to the Pittsburg Steelers in Sunday night's Superbowl XLIII. Speaking to a pool of gathered reporters outside the team's locker room, Warner stated, "I always credit God for my victories and earlier this week I said I had an advantage in tonight's game because of the power of Jesus. Clearly, however, Jesus let me down. And so I am not responsible for tonight's loss. If you want someone to blame, this one is 100% on the man upstairs."

karateexplosions

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Friday January 16, 2009 · 2:41 PM PST

2009/01/16 · 14:41

Last night, President George W. Bush gave his last address to the nation. No more beady little blinks into the camera. No more condescending explanations about the definitions of words that we already know but which he apparently just learned this afternoon. No more "terror fear attack terrorist fear fear" speeches.

On Tuesday, this country will get a president who is intelligent and thoughtful. He'll have a press secretary who is informed and articulate and not fucking evil. And thus, our time is over, for now.

This, below the fold, is the final Dubya Show of all time. The Series Finale. As always, Bush's quotes are thick and bold, like in real life. My comments are in plain text.

Enjoy.

Poll

748 votes Show Results

Bush Has Fucked Up So Many Times, I Totally Forgot About The Time He...

748 votes Vote Now!

Bush Has Fucked Up So Many Times, I Totally Forgot About The Time He...

Lost a Spy Plane Over China

142 votes

Let His Enron Pals Crash a Sub Into a Fishing Boat

145 votes

Spent the His Time Before the September 11 Attacks Figuring Out How to Stop Stem Cell Research

38 votes

Ignored the August 6 Briefing Titled "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in US"

44 votes

Fell Off a Segway

53 votes

Choked on a Pretzel

23 votes

Groped the Head of the German Government

50 votes

Said "Goodbye From the World's Biggest Polluter" and Punched the Air at G8 Summit

97 votes

Said, "Yo, Blair. How Are You doing?" at G8

33 votes

Some Other Fuck-Up That You Just Now Remembered

123 votes

My Dad Got a Letter For Christmas

karateexplosions

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Monday December 29, 2008 · 10:36 AM PST

2008/12/29 · 10:36

My dad is like Jesus in many ways. First, he rocks the beard, just like Christ did. Second, he receives gifts on Christmas -- although very rarely does myrrh enter the equation. And third, he is a Union Carpenter. (Jesus wouldn't have been a scab, right?)

But Christ comparisons aside, over several decades and much travel, I have never in my life met anyone who is a harder worker than my dad. He works 8-12 hours a day, building structures with his hands. He has built prison blocks where criminals are removed from society, doctor's offices where the sick are healed, factories where your car's brakes were manufactured. He built part of the hospital I was born in.

karateexplosions

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Wednesday December 24, 2008 · 7:25 AM PST

2008/12/24 · 07:25

Department of Homeland Security officials have detained an elderly man this morning on a number of charges including Customs violations, traveling without a valid Passport or Visa, flying an unregistered aircraft, and what a spokesman for DHS referred to as "numerous suspicious and questionable behaviors."

Decreased manpower due to the Christmas holiday means the man, a Catholic believed to be Greek or Turkish in descent, is likely to spend Christmas in a detention facility. Bush administration spokesperson Dana Perino attempted some damage control at her morning press gaggle, stating, "This man is a suspect in a number of international crimes and we are well within our rights to detain him indefinitely."

Poll

155 votes Show Results

Due to Homeland Security Delays, Santa Can Only Put Toxic Coal in One More Stocking... Who Gets It?

155 votes Vote Now!

Due to Homeland Security Delays, Santa Can Only Put Toxic Coal in One More Stocking... Who Gets It?

Bernie Madoff

17 votes

Rick Warren

5 votes

Sean Hannity

10 votes

Bill O'Reilly

6 votes

Bob Corker

7 votes

Sarah Palin

7 votes

Rod Blagojevich

9 votes

Dick Cheney

82 votes

Fred Phelps

5 votes

Ann Coulter

7 votes

1001 Ways to Go To Hell in Comic Form, Part II

karateexplosions

Community (This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)

Friday December 19, 2008 · 11:46 AM PST

2008/12/19 · 11:46

Yesterday, we took a look at several "Chick Tracts" -- the lunatic ramblings of one Jack T. Chick, in the form of small comic books.

In Part I, we saw a kid going on a murdering rampage after learning that Santa wasn't real, God trashing America's heartland with tornadoes because of a Middle East peace plan with Israel, a group of nine-year-olds threatening to sacrifice a kitty to Satan, the evils of Dungeons & Dragons, and the Truth about dinosaurs.

The fun continues in Part II of our multi-part series... below the fold.

Poll

44 votes Show Results

"Best" Chick Tract So Far:

44 votes Vote Now!

"Best" Chick Tract So Far:

Fairy Tales

1 vote

Somebody Angry?

1 vote

There Go the Dinosaurs

9 votes

Dark Dungeons

11 votes

Sin City

0 votes

Here Kitty Kitty

4 votes

In the Beginning

0 votes

Bewitched

0 votes

The Gay Blade

6 votes

Holocaust

5 votes

The Sky Lighter

1 vote

That Crazy Guy

3 votes

The Secret

0 votes

War Zone

3 votes

1001 Ways to Go To Hell in Comic Form

karateexplosions

Community (This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)

Thursday December 18, 2008 · 1:23 PM PST

2008/12/18 · 13:23

When I was a kid, Halloween and Christmas were my two favorite times of the year. To me, they both had a lot in common -- decorations, tales of supernatural events, and free things being given to me by people I didn't really know that well.

Another thing that they had in common was that there was always one person who always gave the same thing every year. In lieu of candy or anything else, they gave out small comic books known as "Chick Tracts."

You may have seen these things before. If not, try to picture Fred Phelps and Johnny Hart having a love child -- er, okay, don't actually picture that, but try to imagine them collaborating on a comic book. The result would closely resemble Chick Tracts.

Today, I will attempt to pick some of the Greatest Hits of Chick Tracts, and perhaps give you some helpful advice on how to live a better life.

karateexplosions

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Wednesday December 17, 2008 · 8:39 AM PST

2008/12/17 · 08:39

Dear Fellow Democrat:

How was your ~~Holiday~~ Christmas season? We hope that it was good. It was a booming success for us in Congress -- we got so much fucking coal in our stockings that we will be able to heat the Capital building for the remainder of the winter.

The reason that we are writing you today is to let you know that we have heard your complaints. We understand your visceral anger and disappointment in us. And we agree. Our behavior over the past 8 years has been inexcusable.

Poll

35 votes Show Results

We Have All This Dry Powder. What Should We Use it On?

35 votes Vote Now!

We Have All This Dry Powder. What Should We Use it On?

Opposing Obama's Health Plan

15 votes

Opposing Obama's Economic Stimulus

5 votes

Opposing Obama's Supreme Court Nominees

4 votes

Opposing Obama's Tax Plans

2 votes

Opposing Obama's Iraq Withdrawal

3 votes

Opposing Obama's Environmental Policies

0 votes

Opposing Obama's Jobs Programs

2 votes

Opposing Obama's Infrastructure Rebuilding

2 votes

Opposing Obama's Education Policies

2 votes

Congress To Roll Up Sleeves, Get Stuff Done

karateexplosions

Community (This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)

Monday December 15, 2008 · 12:01 PM PST

2008/12/15 · 12:01

You may have noticed the headlines.

Americans wondering if they will be able to pay the rent or mortgage. Wondering if they'll be able to afford to put food on the table. Facing down crushing medical expenses.

High unemployment.

Record foreclosures.

Major industries on the verge of bankruptcy.

Two wars being fought overseas.

Over $1,000,000,000,000 being spent on bailing out Wall Street firms and banks.

America is falling behind in standard of living, education, health.

Poll

39 votes Show Results

Fill in the Blank: _____________, Be It Resolved; Fuck This Stupid Bill.

39 votes Vote Now!

Fill in the Blank: _____________, Be It Resolved; Fuck This Stupid Bill.

Whereas Unemployment Is Sky High

2 votes

Whereas Parents Have to Explain to the Children Why Santa Didn't Bring Much This Year

14 votes

Whereas Many People in This Country Have No Health Insurance

5 votes

Whereas Homelessness Has Risen Recently

0 votes

Whereas Higher Education Is Becoming More Unaffordable

2 votes

Whereas One in Eight Americans Are Living in a State of Hunger

11 votes

Whereas Many Loved Ones Are Still Stuck In an Unjustifiable War

5 votes

Let's Talk Seriously About Kitties, Hobos, and Goats

karateexplosions

Community (This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)

Tuesday December 09, 2008 · 10:29 AM PST

2008/12/09 · 10:29

I feel the need to get this out of the way up front.

This is a picture of a cat.

Since late 2005 or early 2006, this kitty has been a sign that has accompanied some damn fool thing or another that I had written. He's appeared in military uniform, in a hovercar, with Kos's name on a tattoo on his ass, behind bars, in front of John McCain's green backdrop, and as Satan. He has appeared on t-shirts, coffee cups, and thongs to raise money for Democratic House and Senate candidates. This kitty has, in fact, hung in a frame on the wall of at least one Democratic House candidate.

karateexplosions

Community (This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)

Monday December 08, 2008 · 2:00 PM PST

2008/12/08 · 14:00

As many of you know from carefully reading each and every one of my previous diaries and comments, I supported Barack Obama in this year's presidential election. In fact, I was so loyal to our new President-elect that even when John McCain came around, trying to entice me with cool stuff like Ice Scrapers and golf balls in exchange for favorable blog posts, I respectfully declined.

Poll

2109 votes Show Results

I May Be Persuaded Against Open Rebellion if Obama Picks...

2109 votes Vote Now!

I May Be Persuaded Against Open Rebellion if Obama Picks...

Mortimer Downey

52 votes

Jim Oberstar

89 votes

Jane F. Garvey

42 votes

Ed Rendell

159 votes

R.T. Rybak

94 votes

Steve Heminger

11 votes

Jerry Costello

28 votes

Peter DeFazio

151 votes

None of These, But Someone Else

345 votes

None of These -- Let the Revolution Begin!

1138 votes

Lieberman, It's Judgment Day: Here Is Your Sentence (UPDATED)

karateexplosions

Community (This content is not subject to review by Daily Kos staff prior to publication.)

Tuesday November 18, 2008 · 7:50 AM PST

2008/11/18 · 07:50

We all have seen the evidence against Senator Joe Lieberman, founder and member of the Joe Lieberman for Joe Lieberman Party of Connecticut. He has repeatedly attacked President-Elect Obama, endorsed Republicans, spoke at the Republican National Convention in support of the Republican nominee, and has overall been a general douche.

Think Progress has a long list of shit Joe Lieberman has done wrong, including...

Poll

1450 votes Show Results

As Democrats, We Can Impose Sanctions on Lieberman. Choose Only One of the Following:

1450 votes Vote Now!

As Democrats, We Can Impose Sanctions on Lieberman. Choose Only One of the Following:

Slightly Annoying

104 votes

Moderately Inconvenient

231 votes

Briefly Uncomfortable

153 votes

Lightly Inopportune

230 votes

A Little Bothersome

166 votes

Insufficiently Troublesome

566 votes

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RSS

You May Not Remember Me, But You'll Remember the Kitty

Kurt Warner: "God Is To Blame For This Loss"

A Very Special THE DUBYA SHOW! Series Finale

My Dad Got a Letter For Christmas

A Christmas FU To the World From Bush Administration

1001 Ways to Go To Hell in Comic Form, Part II

1001 Ways to Go To Hell in Comic Form

A Very Special Message From Congressional Democrats

Congress To Roll Up Sleeves, Get Stuff Done

Let's Talk Seriously About Kitties, Hobos, and Goats

This Shall Not Stand!: Obama's Pick For Secretary of Tranportation

Lieberman, It's Judgment Day: Here Is Your Sentence (UPDATED)