It's gotta be tough out there for a Republican right now. You've just lost the 2012 election in humiliating fashion. Patraeus had to step down and the majority of your Job Creators are threatening to go Galt.
But on the bright side today is Papa John's Appreciation Day. It's a day to celebrate. A day to rejoice. A day to express your displeasure with the government through gluttony. It's kinda like the angry person's Woodstock minus the peace, love and fantastic music. And it doesn't have to stop there. No, you just keep on riding those rotten vibrations conservatives. All you gotta do is close your mind, follow this menu and eliminate any and all forms of critical thinking. The less mental energy you have to waste on nourishment, the more you can devote to helping McCain uncover the truth about Benghazi.
I suppose it's a different world nowadays. Personally I've never really needed any extra motivation to eat. I usually eat because I'm hungry. Occasionally I've eaten food out of curiosity. Sometimes I eat because of boredom or just plain routine.
But I can never recall eating something out of spite. I've never eaten something because of hate. By the way, when did the mere eating of shit food become a political statement? We've got people holing up in greasy fast food joints belting out "God Bless America" believing that that's the truest expression of patriotism possible.
But I digress. In an effort to make it easier for our conservative friends, here goes a detailed menu that truly takes the thinking out of meal time. Rest assured, teabagger, nothing that follows has been approved or regulated by any sort of government agency.
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