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View Diary: Republican political leaders want to prevent you from using birth control (160 comments)

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  •  That sounds like less of a conflict of "rights"... (1+ / 0-)
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    Pandoras Box

    and more of an issue of communicating feelings, as well as trust on at least one person's part. You've got the right to stop having sex with her if she insists on you going without a condom. She's a got right to stop having sex with you if you insist on using one. Those are the only relevant "rights". But, of course, human relationships are about much more than just "rights": it's also about having respect for each other's feelings.

    She probably feels like you're saying you don't trust her, for whatever reason. You feel like she's saying she doesn't respect your reproductive autonomy. I'd just discuss it further with her so that each of you can better understand where the other is coming from, if you think it's an important issue. If you can't come to agreement or compromise, then each of you have to respect that, too.

    (I feel like a marriage counselor, here! lol)

    •  Heh, yeah. (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Pandoras Box

      I basically said "what's the harm in taking extra precaution?"  I admit to not knowing THAT much about the pill (I also grew up in an "abstinence-only" state, though I at least had parents who explained condoms to me.)  So I may be under the misimpression that there's still a possibility of pregnancy even if a woman is on the pill and takes it consistently.

      I've heard plenty of stories about "accidental" pregnancies to be freaked out about it.  Though when you get down to it it usually involves a man who didn't use a condom and a woman who probably stopped taking the pill.

      I do think there is some validity in the "male rights" argument about not having to support a child that isn't biologically your child.  That's it.  They pretty much are misogynist dickbags otherwise.

      27, white male, TX-26 (current), TN-07 (originally), liberal-leaning independent

      by TDDVandy on Sat Oct 08, 2011 at 02:18:07 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  The pill is not 100% effective. (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Pandoras Box

        And using condoms + the pill DOES decrease the chances of accidental pregnancy, so you do have a valid argument there, especially if you are very concerned about preventing that. But there's still some risk of pregnancy no matter what you do to prevent it. It's just something you have to accept when you have sex with someone. Some countries (e.g., the Netherlands) encouraging doubling up on contraceptive methods among teens especially, and as a consequence have the lowest teen birthrates in the world. But we'd have to get over some of our aversion to actually TALKING about sex in this country before we can get to that.

        As I said, I agree that men have a right to hear the truth about paternity, and that women have an obligation to tell the truth about it as far as they know it (it's fraud, otherwise). However, I also understand some of why women lie about it sometimes: they are worried about not having a man around to help them provide for their child. Lying isn't ever justified, but I think it's worth noting that women who lie about it are usually women who are in a bad situation in part because of the behavior of other men.

        •  Agreed. (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          Pandoras Box

          I am very concerned about preventing pregnancy... I'm not ready to be a father.  But, I think what happened here is not that I'm against women's rights, but more that my own personal experiences mean my perspective is "why is it so important to make it so the guy doesn't have to wear a condom?"  Forgetting, of course, that again, you're dealing with a lot of dumbass guys who refuse to wear one.

          Yeah, this country is backwards in a lot of ways.  There are some segments of our society that actually seem to GLORIFY teen pregnancy, as shocking as it may seem.  I've always found it ironic that the pro-life movement made it such that Christian conservatives no longer stigmatize unwed teenage mothers ("at least she didn't have an abortion" is the normal reaction to it now.)

          27, white male, TX-26 (current), TN-07 (originally), liberal-leaning independent

          by TDDVandy on Sat Oct 08, 2011 at 03:00:26 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

      •  you absolutely have a right to use extra (0+ / 0-)

        birth control

        I think if the situation were reversed, and men were the ones who were supposed to take "the pill" (and they are working on developing one), I would NEVER trust him to have taken his bc consistently if I was worried about getting pregnant.  Not because I think men are essentially jerks, but because they are so essentially human (just like women).

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