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View Diary: Head of Focus on the Family admits culture-war defeat (108 comments)

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  •  On "fatherlessness" (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Calamity Jean, BluejayRN, raincrow

    Just because a father doesn't live in the same house as the mother, doesn't make the child "fatherless".  

    Some children obtain new fathers when their mothers gain a new partner or remarry.  

    And, some children continue to see their fathers when their parents don't live together.  

    I have even seen situations in which a child had two "fathers", and the fact that the birth father did NOT live with the mother was good for the child, and provided a refuge and extra support when Mom got leukemia.

    So, before they expound too much about "fatherlessness", we should ask them some tough questions about what the H--- they are talking about?   Are they classifying the child of every unmarried or divorced mother as "fatherless"?   Are they counting the kids whose fathers died in Afghanistan or Iraq, and what are they going to do about THAT?    Just what the heck do they mean?  

    And, what about "motherless" kids?    My neighbor is raising his two sons mostly by himself because his wife is crazy.    Those kids aren't "fatherless", but they are facing the same tough challenges as "fatherless" kids.    Focusing on one gender of parent simply adds a bigoted tone to a serious issue.     And, another married couple has kids that are almost "motherless" because the mom has cancer, and has been emotionally labile, and had difficult doing much of anything for the kids due to pain.  What about them?   They're married and living with the kids, but the kids are still struggling.

    And, some kids with two drug addicted parents, could only wish to have the emotional support and supervision of one competent single parent of either gender.

    So, what the special thing about "fatherless" and what about all the other problems that kids face?    I guess I should take it for granted in a patriarchal society, that this is what we focus on to the exclusion of the other problems.

    •  Absent fathers are a huge problem (4+ / 0-)

      in the African-American community especially -- you have a lot of unmarried women having kids (which can be ameliorated through increased access to contraception and education), as well as a large number of African-American men ending up in prison.

      Kids are going to do better in a two-parent household, no matter what the consistency: there's a better chance of financial stability (with at least one parent working), you have a sharing of responsibilities, and there's a bit more security. As a "fatherless" child myself (my dad died when I was 11), I'm all for strengthening families in all forms.

      "If we ever needed to vote we sure do need to vote now" -- Rev. William Barber, NAACP

      by Cali Scribe on Mon Nov 12, 2012 at 12:12:06 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

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