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View Diary: Conquering the Room For Ladies (36 comments)

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  •  on ranma (0+ / 0-)

    we'd enjoyed Ranma for years before Alice's transition, but yes, I suppose it always meant something more / something different for her. It's always interesting to be to go back and look at such things through different eyes.

    "All politics is personal"

    by laurustina on Fri Dec 14, 2012 at 06:25:31 PM PST

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    •  Saotome' Ranma is important to me (1+ / 0-)
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      suesue

      For much the same reason as your daughter. But tell me, though I've been around Kos since it's creation, I think this is the first post I've seen on your daughter. My mom called me "To... Peggy" until the day she died but I eventually got used to it. Bathrooms were tough for me at first too but I still carry a diagnosis and a copy of the court order legally changing my gender. Though I've never had to use either, I guess I'll always keep them handy.

      Please, if I may be so bold, how did your daughter die? I hope it wasn't a tragic suicide. I came sooooooo very close and actually succeeded in my second attempt. There but for a fortunate and unexpected intervention, go I.

      Thanks for the post. It was a beautiful story.

      "Given the choice between a Republican and someone who acts like a Republican, people will vote for a real Republican every time." Harry Truman

      by MargaretPOA on Fri Dec 14, 2012 at 06:51:07 PM PST

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      •  life and death (3+ / 0-)
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        DaNang65, white blitz, suesue

        Since you shared a little of your own life, I've no qualms about answering your question. Alice (aka Ashlie) died after an overdose of oxycontin. she had a history of drug abuse and risk-taking behavior, and was on the heels of a cold-turkey detox.

        For a variety of reasons, I don't believe that she intended to die on that particular night, though she'd talked often of suicide.

        On bathrooms - I have trans friends closer to my own age who carry horror stories of confrontation and threats of violence in public restrooms, but I hear less from the younger crowd. I take this as a hopeful sign that the world around is us is changing.

        "All politics is personal"

        by laurustina on Fri Dec 14, 2012 at 07:09:16 PM PST

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        •  Thank you for sharing (0+ / 0-)

          For what it's worth, that sort of behavior is very common among the transgendered and I was no different. It would be easier to name the drugs I avoided, rather than list all of the ones I used. And risk taking? Yeah, in spades. I was just lucky. I guess having supportive parents like yourself didn't do much to blunt the pain that is omnipresent and inescapable.
          I look at it like this: gender identity is such a basic part of who we are that even if it were possible to change how I feel, I would then no longer be who I am. I would be a different person. But society is very unforgiving and rigid when it comes to gender norms and though there has been some improvement over my 52 years, it hasn't been anywhere near enough.
           Though I haven't had any bathroom issues, largely because I was always very "passable", I did have some run ins with bigoted assholes, including two who fractured my skull. It was in 1983 in Houston, Texas and I was arrested. Get that? Not the guys who fractured my skull and broke my ribs but me. Though I wasn't ever charged with a crime, I was taken downtown and released at 10:00pm, (cause that's when the buses stopped running at the time), and I had to make my way back home on my own. So yeah, I've got my own set of issues that still give me nightmares. My mom spent the better part of two decades trying to lay a guilt trip on me and my father let me know how much I embarrassed him. During that period, narcotics and the people who supplied and/or used them with me were the only reliable way to anneal, (but not eliminate), the pain. Though I know it's an illusion now, I would almost certainly go back to abusing them if I was forced to stop being who I am.
          Again, thanks for sharing and I'm so sorry for your loss.

          "Given the choice between a Republican and someone who acts like a Republican, people will vote for a real Republican every time." Harry Truman

          by MargaretPOA on Fri Dec 14, 2012 at 08:10:00 PM PST

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