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View Diary: Atheist holiday traditions (50 comments)

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  •  On Block Island (0+ / 0-)

    ...off the coast of Rhode Island, a few days before Easter two or three years ago,  I saw a large white rabbit grazing on a lawn at the corner of Dodge Street and Old Town Road. He was clearly Oryctolagus cuniculus, one of those America-hating atheist foreign rabbits who live in holes in the ground, as opposed to patriotic American rabbits of the genus Sylvilagus who live on the surface in thick undergrowth. And the hardware store a quarter mile down the street was selling fresh eggs. Fresh eggs! At a hardware store!

    It's clear what was going on: those eggs were being smuggled into the country, possibly from Russian fishing trawlers or German U-boats, and being sold to promote an anti-America agenda under the cover of this egg-laying Easter bunny story. How stupid do these Communists think we are? Every red-blooded American knows that even Islamofascist feminazi Euro-bunnies are placentals not monotremes and do not lay eggs; do they imagine we can't tell a bunny from a platypus?

    There is only one answer: Americans need more guns.Whenever you see a rabbit, go buy a gun. You can never have too many guns, and if Block Islanders had more guns, the place wouldn't be so overrun with peacocks, emus, Euro-bunnies, and other foreign animals. My God, there isn't a single American grey squirrel or chipmunk on the whole island! Oh, if only Mitt Romney were president, he'd know what to do...

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