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View Diary: "The Urn is Ready," he said (147 comments)

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  •  Those are the kind of reminders (13+ / 0-)

    that mean so much - every time you see a Great Blue Heron, you'll think of your dad - in a good way, instead of a sad way.  

    We scattered my dad's ashes from a Cessna - his request. He wrote it down in his Five Wishes booklet and said if we couldn't do it, he would understand, but we actually found a private pilot who worked with our funeral director a lot, doing that.  

    He didn't really have a "place" he preferred, but he said, just pick some places you think I'd like and where you think I was happy - so we asked the pilot to fly over their little church, the regional airport, the home that they first lived in when they retired, a few other places around Ocala - we waited in the church yard with a few friends (we'd had the memorial service a month earlier) and we could see the Cessna coming from the airport, it flew over the neighborhood where the house was and then came back over the church - we had our camera and we took pictures as they went over and have a shot of the puffs of ashes coming from the plane, a beautiful blue sky - so blue it hurt your eyes to look up - puffy cotton clouds... as the plane made it's last pass and went back toward the airport, the birds in the oak trees started singing and chirping and a whole bunch of little yellow butterflies came from somewhere behind the church and fluttered toward us, around us and past us into the woods.  

    Considering it was Labor Day weekend, and way past butterfly season, we were really surprised.  Never expected to see that at all.  It was funny, but the Hospice House symbol was a butterfly and they had a beautiful butterfly garden that dad could see out his window (he checked himself into Hospice when he was diagnosed - at 82, he wasn't about to "torture" himself with "chemo and other crap" - that was just dad being dad).   I think the butterflies mustered up one last emergence and flight, just for him.  

    I can't see a hard blue sky, full of puffy clouds or little yellow butterflies without thinking of my dad - and smiling.  I always feel like he sends them to visit me, when I'm feeling down - he knows when I need those little visits...

    Dave, time will pass - the hard days will still be hard, but the edges will soften and you'll find little things that remind you of Jim and make you smile.  Sometimes when you least expect it, some little thing will happen and you'll know he's just sending you a little reminder that you're not alone and everything is going to be OK someday.  

    Thinking of you - hoping you are finding strength and comfort among friends, both at home and here on the DK.  

    "Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. Because it's only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential." - Barack Obama

    by Ricochet67 on Wed Dec 19, 2012 at 07:05:51 PM PST

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    •  everytime i see a red cardinal i think of my mom (6+ / 0-)

      she often told me the story about one that used to sit on the tree outside her bedroom window when she was pregnant with me.  all her life she collected things with cardinals on them.

      when I first came to New England almost 40 years ago cardinal sightings seemed much more rare.  since my mom died I see them more often, or maybe I just notice them more often, but it is amazing how many times I will see one when I am thinking of her or missing her or feeling a greater loss than usual from her absence.

      I still have her urn and another smaller box of remains that I am supposed to spread in Maryland for her.  It's been more than five years (six in February) and I don't know when I will get around to it...

      "Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D."
      Four More Years! How sweet it is!!!

      by TrueBlueMajority on Wed Dec 19, 2012 at 09:16:31 PM PST

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