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View Diary: "The Urn is Ready," he said (147 comments)

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  •  it'll happen on its own schedule (4+ / 0-)

    and my own belief is that we're not in control of that. You just roll with it the best you can. I remember experiencing it as waves that would come and go and vary in intensity. Tears would come at odd times. Sometimes I felt like I'd lost ground that I thought I'd already covered. I just went with it and held on. Eventually, memories were more likely to make me smile.

    In an important way, you will always carry him with you and that in itself will be a gift.

    These are such difficult days, and I wish we could spare you the pain. But you will endure. Hold on to people.

    •  After my mom died in 2005 (4+ / 0-)

      I went to a grief support seminar put on by the medical clinic my spouse and I patronize -- one thing I took away from that night is that when it comes to grief, it takes as long as it takes and don't let anyone tell you to "just get over it already."

      I still get a little moody around the end of January (when she died), and around my birthday in March because part of me is resentful that she didn't stick around to see me turn 50 (she got to see all my siblings hit that age, but I was only 45 when she left). Mark (my spouse) has learned how to deal with me at those times (he's a very empathetic person -- takes after his own father in many ways).

      "If we ever needed to vote we sure do need to vote now" -- Rev. William Barber, NAACP

      by Cali Scribe on Wed Dec 19, 2012 at 11:17:47 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

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