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View Diary: Silent F*cking Night (172 comments)

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  •  Christmas WTF (1+ / 0-)
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    I remember my first Christmas and it sucked. In the 10 days before Christmas it was completely dark and there was a lot of bumping and grinding and up and down and talk about wet, this crap that was all around was gooey as shit. I was wondering if I was a victim of a Rendition of some sort.
    Finally Christmas comes along and I find myself in this scratchy bed that is uncomfortable as hell!!! To make matters worse there is this bright shining light in my eyes that will not turn off. I am almost wishing the gooey water torture would return. I try to suckle my Mom but there is a bunch of strange dudes staring at me continuously. I am starting to get pissed but it looks like they brought presents!!!! WOOHHOOO. Things are finally starting to look up around here, but wouldn't you know it. I start to check out the gifts is frankincense and myrrh..Frankincense and myrrh, are you kidding me, first off who even knows what this crap is and if it is coming any where near me my skin is as soft as a babies butt. did these Dudes not pass a mall on the way over to pick up an IPad or two...

    Anyway, I could go on but it would read like a book of some sort, you know what I mean.

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