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View Diary: High School Rape in a small American city (71 comments)

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  •  Agreed. (27+ / 0-)

    I have a niece. I talked to her early and often about how not to put herself in dangerous situations, even with people she thought she knew.

    I have a son. We have raised him to respect and treat all people well. A "don't rape women" talk at 16 or 18 won't make any difference if the boy has not been taught basic humanity.

    The man who raped me when I was 15 came crying to me a few years later, so sad because his girlfriend was raped. He suddenly discovered empathy.

    Still angry after all these years, and reading this brings it all back. And I don't want to hear from anyone that I should get rid of that anger, because unless it has happened to you, you really have no idea. Empathy only goes so far.

    •  It is a crippling inner wound . . . (4+ / 0-)

      as much an injury as if you lost a foot or hand or your sight.

      There is never again the same wholeness and openness to your spirit, knowing in your bones what the truth is about our species. Never again the readiness or ability to freely trust.

      For adults, love and sex is their most intimate playground, just as a toddler's favorite playground or their toys or their friends is their most joyous realm. To have that realm of open joy cruelly violated, for a child or an adult, wounds more permanently and deeply than can be outlived.

      What greater harm can be done than to take the joy out of being alive?

      And what does forgiveness have to do with it?

      Abused children, raped adults, crippled humans of every kind are those who face living out their days in a shattered body, a broken heart, a stricken soul or all of these.

      They are the ones among us who know forgiveness of the most sincere and heartfelt intensity still stops well short of addressing, of healing, of changing what remains as it is:

      broken.

      Something has been broken.

      And it remains broken.

      And the sun comes up on another day.

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