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View Diary: TTFN: Diaries I want to write (67 comments)

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  •  Hang in there OllieGarkey. (16+ / 0-)

    You've got a tough situation. I don't know if there are any free clinics in your area, but if you have an opportunity to talk to a therapist it might help.  

    It wouldn't be surprising at all, or any reflection on you, if all of these challenges have caused you to experience clinical depression, on top of everything else, which can make it even harder to overcome these kinds of obstacles.

    It happened to me after a .... well lots of similar troubles.

    An anti-depressant helped me get out of a several year slump that left me mostly bed-ridden for months.

    Trouble sleeping is one of the symptoms, and loss of interest in usual hobbies, as well as feeling unusually down for more than two weeks in a row, or any unusual unexplained weight gain, or loss.  

    But, whatever,  ... sorry if this an unwanted suggestion.  Mostly I just wanted to say thanks for a well written post, wish you well, and better luck, as well as tell you that you will be missed.  

    Keep on trucken' my friend.  

    PS After decades of struggling with off and on depression I find regular brisk walking 30 to 45 minutes a day helps more than anything else.  

    But, regular sleeping is also really helpful as I easily get totally off cycle to the point I wouldn't even be waking up until late in the afternoon after sleeping 12 to 14 hours finding it was too late to look for work, "that day."

    Please don't become so discouraged that you give up hope, as has happened to me many times.  

    Miracles can happen if you are persistent and follow your own dreams.

    I suffered from a really bad depression in my first year of college after my high school girlfriend and I broke up leaving me devastated. I left Cornell and went to Boston with a friend, we were unemployed for a long time.

    After being a failure at driving cabs, and selling fire alarms and encounters a whole lot of scams that take advantage of those desperate for work, I discovered unemployment offices sometimes have lists of jobs that most other people will not work in because they are so disgusting.  

    I got a job in one day, in a really filthy, oppressive metal stamping plant working in the back of a vast warehouse of welders taking hot U-Haul tow bar off an assembly line when they came out of the paint drying oven. Everyone else they sent there turned it down.  

    A few years later, I managed to get a job cleaning the slime out of a meat processing plant.

    Terrible jobs, but they allowed me to pay the bills, and go to the night school at Harvard University Extension.  night-where I blew away a course taught by an MIT professor, and then took the MIT courses as a special student. Within a year  I was hired as technical staff coordinator for a research project at MIT, and six months later I ended up being the technical staff director, and later one of the very few Research Associates on campus without a Ph.D.

    In retrospect,  I see now that I have had several heroic battles climbing out of vast chasms created by depression adding to the cruel slings and arrows of outrageous fortune of the real world which can be hard enough on their own.

    Please don't hesitate to get medical assistance if you think you might need it. Although, in a system as savage and primitive as we live in here in the U.S. I don't know the state of mental health services are available to those without health insurance. By the time of my last major depression I had a top of the line private payer psychiatrist.

    Hang in there.    

       

    The means is the ends in the process of becoming. - Mahatma Gandhi

    by HoundDog on Tue Jan 08, 2013 at 07:14:12 PM PST

    •  I'll do that. (6+ / 0-)

      I'll look into that tomorrow.

      Thanks.

      No advice from a Kossack has ever been unwanted or unneeded.

      An Fhirinn an aghaidh an t'Saoghail. (The truth against the world.) Is treasa tuath na tighearna. (The common people are mightier than the lords.)

      by OllieGarkey on Tue Jan 08, 2013 at 07:30:43 PM PST

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      •  I don't know how it works for you where you are (8+ / 0-)

        but when mr.u was out of work and sick of unemployment he signed up to be a sub custodian with the school system. He worked almost daily, filling in for folks who needed to be off.

        He worked hard and made a good impression with the other custodians and when a permanent job came open he got it. A union job and fairly good pay in an environment that he loves. It's worth trying....

        "The scientific nature of the ordinary man is to go on out and do the best you can." John Prine

        by high uintas on Tue Jan 08, 2013 at 07:42:28 PM PST

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        •  There's almost nothing I wouldn't do for a union (8+ / 0-)

          job.

          Seriously.

          I would stand on a picket line in the rain for months.

          An Fhirinn an aghaidh an t'Saoghail. (The truth against the world.) Is treasa tuath na tighearna. (The common people are mightier than the lords.)

          by OllieGarkey on Tue Jan 08, 2013 at 08:17:34 PM PST

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          •  That was mr.u's thinking (2+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            OllieGarkey, liz dexic

            It turned out great for us. He lost his job at 57, tough to find another in a right to work state. In a weird way we were lucky, it was 2007 before it all went really bad.

            The school system has been fantastic for us. He works hard but he really enjoys the teachers and the students, it's been good for him.

            "The scientific nature of the ordinary man is to go on out and do the best you can." John Prine

            by high uintas on Tue Jan 08, 2013 at 09:12:21 PM PST

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          •  I have a friend who about 8 years ago was so (4+ / 0-)

            desperate for work she took a temporary job over the Christmas season on the over night shift at the post office sorting mail from Midnight to 8 am.  

            She had been a manager in a corporation as a male, but lost that job when she started transitions as a transexual which can be a problem finding new work.

            But, while there made friends with the Post Office people who like her and explained the inside track on taking the required civil service exams.

            So by that March when an rare opening occurred she had the inside track and scored a full time job as a middle manager as a woman where she still works last time I heard.

            Talk about miracles of persistence.  

            The means is the ends in the process of becoming. - Mahatma Gandhi

            by HoundDog on Tue Jan 08, 2013 at 09:13:58 PM PST

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            •  I've been told by so many people who know that (4+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              HoundDog, MRA NY, txcatlin, high uintas

              persistence is the most important thing. It may feel like you're throwing yourself against a brick wall, but eventually you will break through.

              Just keep going, one foot in front of the other.l

              An Fhirinn an aghaidh an t'Saoghail. (The truth against the world.) Is treasa tuath na tighearna. (The common people are mightier than the lords.)

              by OllieGarkey on Tue Jan 08, 2013 at 09:22:10 PM PST

              [ Parent ]

              •  Yes, somehow find a way to moving forward each (5+ / 0-)

                day, or night, and don't hesitate to try some creative "out-of-the-box" strategies now and then.

                But, most important I think is to find things you love to do and keep investing a little bit each day in them even if they seem totally implausible at the moment.

                If you keep investing in something you love maybe there's a chance you develop news skills that will allow you to create a future for yourself that doesn't even exist yet.

                The phase of the field I ended up excelling in at MIT and later in my own company didn't even exist when I graduated from high school.  (In the form I was part of creating later.)

                The means is the ends in the process of becoming. - Mahatma Gandhi

                by HoundDog on Tue Jan 08, 2013 at 09:30:46 PM PST

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        •  or maybe drive a school bus? (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          liz dexic, high uintas

          there's a nationwide shortage, so most employers offer free or paid training. then once you have that CDL, it's yours.

          not sure about the nyc companies- i worked for two ny companies who had yards in connecticut. atlantic express and baumann and sons.

          i've been driving a bus for 16 years- i really like it.

          you usually have a long midday break. you could keep looking for work in your field while you're on on that break.

          on my breaks i work at my friends' factory. i used to use the break to work in my church's nursery during the moms' bible study groups.

          "...i also also want a legally binding apology." -George Rockwell

          by thankgodforairamerica on Wed Jan 09, 2013 at 04:38:46 AM PST

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