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View Diary: My Dad is Dying (88 comments)

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  •  I am sorry for your pain and upcoming loss (1+ / 0-)
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    and I am so glad for you you had at least one parent like him.

    I lost both my parents by the time I was 35 but I didn't have a loving spouse or family of my own so it was rather wretched....I was left virtually alone in the world.

    But you will and are (anticipitory grieving it's called) loosing and will greatly grieve not only the loss of a parent and loss of family, but loss of a very good person who's been especially meaningful -pivitol-in your life.

    It is a very great loss.

    I hope you have or will have people around you who have lost parents. It is a very great help and comfort, I've found (with myself and with talking to others). Many others may say things that hurt, unintentionally, not understanding your pain (now and later). I've seen this happen especially if the people around you are young enough or lucky enough to have not lost anyone they love.

    The one trite thing people say about loosing parents that I found to be actually true is that they will live on in memory. I've talked to so many around this and it's true. Your relationship itself with them does seem to continue and who they are lives inside you with your memories. IT just takes a while of raw pain to get to that point but when you are in the pain of (prospective) loss it is just too hard to believe. It will happen. There will be a time that the crushing sadness in thinking about your (impending) loss is much better and even overcome by the love and good memories you have, and in your case it seems gratitude for what he gave you.

    I am thrilled for you that you had these weeks with your dad and you kids did as well. In the future you as a family will be able to "conjure" your dad's presence by togeather remembering him and your good times. You know how time is really slow to children? My bet is that it will feel like a year that he was living with your family-especially to your 5 yr old. It was a different and special time in her life and I bet it will leave it's mark. Then when you talk to them about your dad they will place it with this loving person who lived with them.

    Best wishes too you on your sad journey togeather. I'm glad you had a good doubt it helps you be the good parent that I am sure you are.

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