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View Diary: Yves Smith’s Devastating Takedown Of BofA’s Not-So-Independent Foreclosure Review, Part I of V (87 comments)

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  •  Thanks again, bobswern (6+ / 0-)

    But 3 teenie tiny little suggestions:

    1 - Don't bury the lede so deep. There are way too many "asides" in the first page or so, before you get a clue as to what this diary's actually about.

    2 - Put a summary of what it's about at the very top, as not everybody has the time to wade through the details. Plus it tells people what to look for.

    3 - Less citing, more original writing (yes, I know that Smith is ok with it, but still, people want to read your version of what this is all about).

    Sorry, a year and a half writing for my college paper and a History major before the days of disjointed electronic communications drummed that into me. :-)

    "Liberty without virtue would be no blessing to us" - Benjamin Rush, 1777

    by kovie on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 06:51:20 AM PST

    •  Absolutely on #1 and 2. (4+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      kovie, elwior, LilithGardener, cpresley

      I don't mind the long quotes, but having a topic sentence and theme established right at the top would help me understand what follows better.

      Plus, I'll plod through because experience has taught that bobswern's pieces matter. But I can see a lot of people just confused and throwing in the towel.

      Markos! Not only are the Gates Not Crashed, they've fallen on us. Actual Representatives are what we urgently need, because we have almost none.

      by Jim P on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 09:37:31 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

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