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View Diary: Scrutinizing Lone Women Travelers (271 comments)

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  •  More hassle from family/friends (12+ / 0-)

    I've been criticized/hassled more by my immediate family, my co-workers and friends about traveling alone, than I've ever been hassled on my trips.

    I always got static about "how can you stand to be alone""won't it be boring""I'd never travel alone" (so you shouldn't either!). The worst was always from my mother - who was always telling me how pathetic and sad it was that I had to travel alone, even though she knew I enjoyed it.

    Go figure!

    _Let's dedicate ourselves to what the Greeks wrote so many years ago: to tame the savageness of man and make gentle the life of this world. Let us dedicate ourselves to that, and say a prayer for our country and for our people. Robert Kennedy_

    by bogieshadow on Wed Feb 06, 2013 at 11:40:50 AM PST

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    •  I have to remind myself that there are different (7+ / 0-)

      generations.

      My mother went back and forth about needing a boyfriend to do things--like go to the movies or even to a prom.

      I said, to hell with that. Eventually she got into the spirit. But she had to break away from the conditioning of her generation.

      That and it's natural to worry about loved ones when they travel.

      When my husband would deploy, even when it wasn't to do anything overtly dangerous--I would worry. I knew he could take care of himself, but I admit that there is comfort in being the extra pair of eyes on someone's back. But that had more to do with me than with him.

    •  "Aren't you afraid?" (6+ / 0-)

      I think that is the single most prevalent comment I get about my journeys.  The second one is "Oh, I could never do THAT."  

      People keep saying "Oh, I could never do THAT" about so many different things.  We are a world of wimps and whineys.    

      "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." - George Carlin

      by Most Awesome Nana on Wed Feb 06, 2013 at 02:36:52 PM PST

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      •  That's so true! (4+ / 0-)

        I have the same thing happen, when I tell people some of the things I've done, I get the same response.  And I think- "If you really wanted to, you could, therefore what you're really saying is you don't want to do that."

        They'll say they couldn't afford to that - and I hear "I don't want to waste my money doing that."

        They'll say they don't have time to that - and I hear "I'd rather slouch in front of the TV with a beer and popcorn."

        I think such bad thoughts about those who claim they can't.

        For those who truly can't, I am much more lenient. For women to travel alone, that truly can be overwhelmingly frightening, and I'd never mock a woman who says she couldn't travel alone. We all have first hand knowledge of someone who was hurt, terrorized, threatened, harassed, stalked, that the more timid among us are restricted in their movements and quest to feel safe.

        All knowledge is worth having. Check out OctopodiCon to support steampunk learning and fun. Also, on DKos, check out the Itzl Alert Network.

        by Noddy on Wed Feb 06, 2013 at 04:53:57 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  We are of like mind: (5+ / 0-)
          I think such bad thoughts about those who claim they can't.
          When I went back to school at 50, I heard lots of "can't do." What I have never understood is why people don't just say "I don't WANT to."  No shame in that - I don't WANT to jump out of a perfectly good plane.  But I bet, with training, I could.  

          Can't shouldn't be in anyone's vocabulary.

          I also think people frighten themselves.  They listen to all the bad things that happen but do not understand odds and probabilities.  

          I know there are people who have been badly frightened; they are a different class and I don't have mean thoughts about them.  

          "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." - George Carlin

          by Most Awesome Nana on Wed Feb 06, 2013 at 06:18:24 PM PST

          [ Parent ]

          •  The best thing we can do for people who survived (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            worldlotus

            Listen to them.
            Bear Witness to their pain.
            Love them unconditionally.

            And allow them to heal.

            I have been afraid, bad things have happened to me. I sometimes do these alone things as an act of defiance, as well as needing to be alone. In part, reclaiming something in spite of fear, one part, loving those moments of solitude.

            Maybe the love of some people allowed me to bend instead of break, so that I could at times live past the worst.

    •  I prefer it from the 'responsibility' standpoint. (7+ / 0-)

      Traveling with other people, you're always having to adhere to some schedule or other, meeting up with them at predestined points and times.  Going solo, you're free to simply wander around at your own pace, go places you otherwise would never have been, eat in strange out of the way places, and have experiences you would have missed.

      I went on a few trips with groups, small and large, and perhaps the worst part was being roomed up with someone who felt they had to fill every silence with mindless yammering.

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