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View Diary: OMG It's The Worst Thing Ever!!!!! (119 comments)

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  •  I completely understand what you're saying, (15+ / 0-)

    but I lived through the time when it was commonly used, in "polite" company, and rarely confronted.  I don't know how to keep the power of what that was like to live in and change the wording.  

    It's an awful word, and the bashing was still going on when my friends were dying of a new disease without a name.  To  me that's worse than the word.  If you have a suggestion for how to make that clear and not be so offensive I'm open to it!

    I'm not looking for a love that will lift me up and carry me away. A love that will stroll alongside and make a few amusing comments will suffice.

    by I love OCD on Wed Feb 06, 2013 at 05:28:09 PM PST

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    •  it is an awful word (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      I love OCD, aitchdee, Hey338Too

      and I don't know of another that would easily substitute... It might be that the whole sentence would have to be rewritten.

      But we try (I can only speak of the Kosability group) try to avoid such words, if only to deprive them of their power. I too am disappointed of how those afflicted early with AIDS and HIV+ status were treated, or not, as the case may be. Certainly the abhorrent treatment that people suffered is worse than the word. I'm only saying that we would be well advised not to use the language of the people who let that happen.

      I fully understand the concept of reclaiming language, but that one is just so hurtful to so many people that I really object to its usage in any civil conversation.

      Anyone who scoffs at happiness needs to take their soul back to the factory and demand a better one. -driftglass

      by postmodernista on Wed Feb 06, 2013 at 05:39:54 PM PST

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      •  I struggled with it, as I did with Jig jokes. (18+ / 0-)

        I may be in a different place with it because the SLUTS group led to a deep healing for me personally.  That word was a weapon used against me before I even knew what sex really was and, more traumatically, was how I was labelled after being date raped.  

        Getting a girl drunk and having sex with her was just a thing Frat boys did, and boasting about it afterward wasn't unacceptable at all.  Slut made my heart hurt, it made me want to simultaneously hurt someone and curl up in the fetal position forever.  Stripping that word of it's power to hurt me was amazing.  

        Maybe we need to do that with all those words.  I don't know.  I'm sorry it hurts you.

        I'm not looking for a love that will lift me up and carry me away. A love that will stroll alongside and make a few amusing comments will suffice.

        by I love OCD on Wed Feb 06, 2013 at 05:53:22 PM PST

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      •  It IS an awful thing (4+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Smoh, Cedwyn, I love OCD, blueoasis

        and if you've ever experienced it first hand, there's no sugar coating you can apply to it, no polite way to put it. Might as well call it what it is, just as ugly as it is.

        If I ran this circus, things would be DIFFERENT!

        by CwV on Thu Feb 07, 2013 at 05:45:13 AM PST

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        •  Based on my internal responses (3+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          CwV, Wee Mama, SanFernandoValleyMom

          when I read old books that use those words and phrases, I think it's important to not whitewash what was real.  It's like a little electrical shock when I read "Are you in the hands of the Jews?", meaning: were you stupid, did you borrow money?  

          And these aren't archaic books, this was an attitude carried well into the 20th Century.  It took a Holocaust to change those casual attitudes, and even that wasn't enough for some.  In 1981 I attended High Holy Day services with the family of my future husband, and asked why all the cop cars for traffic control before the service.  Gently, sweetly my S-I-L to be told me they were doing bomb checks and providing security during the service.  (Which the Synagogue paid for, this wasn't a public service thing.)  

          They weren't worried about Muslim terrorism, this was about American terrorism.

          I'm not looking for a love that will lift me up and carry me away. A love that will stroll alongside and make a few amusing comments will suffice.

          by I love OCD on Thu Feb 07, 2013 at 08:46:50 AM PST

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