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View Diary: Hoarders: micro and macro-- think of your children (26 comments)

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  •  This is a lesson that I sorta need to learn. (7+ / 0-)

    Occasionally I've gone on binges to 'decluter' my house.  This past May a water line broke and caused some shelves to be moved in the basement.  When putting all back together, a van load of stuff made its way to Goodwill.  Although, the box of college papers are still sitting my garage waiting to go to the recycle bin......

    The problem I have is taking 'family' things.  I have both of my mother's sewing machines and yes I do use them, along with the 'accessories'/threads/bobbins/rick-rack/etc.  I have my dad's and his brother's childhood beds - they're in the extra bedroom and have been used occasionally.  Most everything that I've inherited does get used.  A couple of weeks ago, I received my aunt's buffet.  This buffet was her (and my mother's) great aunt's buffet.  I don't need the buffet, but it made my aunt happy that it stayed in the family (she's had to move into assisted living at the age of 62 cause of genetic disorder).

    I can say that there is nothing in an external storage shed.  Nothing stored at other family locations.  The garage contains the usual garage stuff (fertilizer, lawn mower, snow blower, etc).  There is nothing in the closet in one extra bedroom and the other extra bedroom has the sewing machine stuff and my needlework fabric.  The hall closet actually has a couple of empty shelves and the rest contains extra blankets.  There are empty shelves in the basement and you can see its floor......

    But, I've got to not 'take' everything that's offered to me from family.

    •  I am dreading when this issue comes up (1+ / 0-)
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      with my in-laws.  For my Mother, it's over. My sister and I cleared out her home back in 2007, and it was bad. She broke her hip back in 2000, and has been in and out of nursing homes, assisted living, various hospitalizations, since then. My stepfather developed Alzheimer's  in 2001 and was hospitalized, never to return home again. So, in 2007, the house had been sitting since 2000, just as my Mother and Stepfather had left it. One room was floor to ceiling junk, and the rest was not much better. It took us weeks to get it cleaned out, and each one was a trip from Maryland to Florida for me (my husband gave up after the first couple of visits, and I can't say as I blame him). My sister still lives in Florida, so it wasn't quite the disruption for her that is was for me, but she had to do more of the day-to-day dealings with my Mother, who refuses to make positive life choices for herself (long, long story).

      My in-laws are approaching that stage. My Mother-in-law is in a memory care facility for Alzheimer's, and my Father-in-law, while he is still able to care for himself (and spends most of his day with her) is approaching the age where he will need care, too. When that day comes, he'll try to dump stuff on his three children, and I'll have to put my foot down with my husband. We have a nice big house, but we had a flood in the basement that prompted throwing away a U-haul truck's worth of damaged furniture and papers. We had wanted to get the basement redone, since it was mostly empty, but we've ended up storing books and sheet music down there now for a friend of my husband's who is on the verge of losing her home to foreclosure. My husband is quite the clutter bug, so I'm constantly throwing stuff away that he brings home for projects that he gets in the middle of, then loses interest in and starts another. I refuse to live like my Mother, and I don't want my in-law's stuff. I shipped back 8 small boxes (the size of copier paper boxes) from my Mom's house, mostly items I had left in my Mom's garage after college, and even that was too much.

      We have no children, so I'll be having to try to deal with any messes while working past the age of 70. I get tired of it, but I know I'll have to be tactful and diplomatic when the time comes with my in-laws. Athena help me.


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