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View Diary: Hoarders: micro and macro-- think of your children (26 comments)

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  •  I didn't have that problem. (5+ / 0-)

    By the time my father died I discovered that

    1) Most of the treasures from my childhood that was remotely valuable (a handcarved Pinnochio Pelham marionette, an English teapot belonging to my grandmother,  a 3-speed bike, my childhood toys, which were by then collectors' items) had mysteriously "disappeared," probably sold long ago for cash by my mother, whose bingo addiction forced my father to work two or three jobs for most of his life; and

    2) The family keepsakes (Christmas ornaments, photos, mementoes from my Dad's time in the Marines in WWII and Korea) that were at all worth dividing up were long gone, snapped up by sisters who had better access to Dad before he died than I did. Of course, as they took pains to explain to me, he "gave" them these things. No word on whether they ASKED for them first, though;

    3) The sister who had been assigned executor had helped herself to thousands of dollars in his bank account before dividing up what little was left.

    Dad was a frugal and generous working-class breadwinner who could never deny a request and spent little on himself. For the above reasons, cleaning the family home prior to its sale took only one day, for which I suppose I should be thankful.

    I have almost NO items from my family to remind me of our history. The collectibles we use are from Spousal Unit's family. Given how things have shaken themselves out between me and my sisters, maybe  I should count my blessings.

    "The truth will set you free...but first it'll piss you off." - Gloria Steinem

    by Sharoney on Mon Feb 11, 2013 at 06:49:26 PM PST

    •  Family politics are such fun - NOT. You probably (4+ / 0-)

      did end up on the better end of the deal??

      My mother passed 5.5 years ago.  Dad has gone through some stuff - gave, donated, etc a bunch of 'stuff'.  There are things that he's not willing to go through yet - the majority of the nick-knacks from their travels, Christmas ornaments, and mom's jewelry.  However, my sister has been harassing him about it from time to time.  To the point that she asked to borrow mom's pearls for her wedding last year.  Perfectly logical and dad liked the idea.  She hasn't given them back to dad yet and it's been a year.  To say dad is not amused would be an understatement.  What part of he's not ready to part with some things because there's still that connection with mom in them.

      •  My next oldest sister (4+ / 0-)

        (I'm the oldest) took my grief-stricken father aside privately after my mom died and asked for her engagement and wedding rings and my grandmother's wedding ring (which my mother as eldest daughter had inherited) BEFORE MY MOTHER WAS EVEN LAID IN THE GROUND.

        Par for the course for her. She wanted to make sure she got her dibs in before my other two sisters had a chance. Sickening.

        Oh, the stories I could tell you about my family.

        "The truth will set you free...but first it'll piss you off." - Gloria Steinem

        by Sharoney on Mon Feb 11, 2013 at 09:12:42 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

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