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View Diary: The Grieving Room: I could never have imagined a day like this (111 comments)

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  •  yes, i've had both those experiences too (14+ / 0-)

    some anniversaries creep up on me for weeks at a time.  others take me by surprise when I look at the calendar and think: Oh!

    Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D.
    Drop by The Grieving Room on Monday nights for support in dealing with grief.

    by TrueBlueMajority on Mon Feb 11, 2013 at 09:27:20 PM PST

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    •  I just passed the 20th anniversary of my brother's (24+ / 0-)

      Death. He died of AIDS, and the CMV virus first blinded him, then attacked his brain.
      He was in UT, I CA.
      His last words to me were, " my doc wants me to sign a DNR".
      My mom put him in a nursing home on Monday and never told me.
      When he didn't answer the phone on our Sat phone call, I knew something had happened.
      By the time I got home, he had lost the ability to speak.
      I would speak to him, while he laid his head in my lap, and he would nod.
      But I got a gift from him.
      He had slipped in to a coma the day before he died.
      I woke up that morning feeling he was in the room with me. I knew right where he was.
      Then my mom called and told me he just died.
      I really feel he came to say goodbye.
      He asked me to scatter his ashes off the Golden Gate Bridge.
      It took all day. I took him thru the city to his favorite spots and crossed the bridge 3 times.
      I let him go with the song "Goodby my Friend" by Bonoff.
      I would be doing something and think, Rick died, why didn't anyone tell me?  
      3 months after he died, my world imploded. I didn't know what hit me.
      I must have had a nervous breakdown, but was fortunate to qualify for therapy due to the Ryan White grant.
      My therapist helped me back from the brink.
      I miss him so much. My best friend.
      I walked with one foot over the edge for 2 months trying to decide whether to live or die.
      We made a Quilt for him, but since the whole Quilt would not be displayed again cuz of its size, my mom wanted to keep it.
      But then they decided to take it to DC, so we made a duplicate and turned that in
      The original is hanging on my wall.
      One last thing.
      In 77 I took a picture of him from below of him running over a bridge. The sun is down in the corner, so it looks like he is running in to the light.
      Prophetic?  I think so.
      Thanks for reading this.
      Hugs and peace to all who are grieving.
      One day at a time and you don't get over it, but somehow you get thru grief.

      Gitmo is a Concentration Camp. Not a Detention Center. Torture happens at Concentration Camps. Torture happens at Gitmo. How much further will US values fall? Where is YOUR outrage at what the United States does in OUR names?

      by snoopydawg on Mon Feb 11, 2013 at 10:49:22 PM PST

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