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View Diary: My Ex-Husband Is Homeless (91 comments)

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  •  She is simplistic. We are our brother's keepers (6+ / 0-)

    We should not accept homilies that let us all off easy about helping the homeless, whether or not we have personal ties to them.

    America's streets and prisons are full of people with mental health problems that we have tossed away like chicken bones. There is something wrong with all of us that we allow our society to be so callous.

    look for my eSci diary series Thursday evening.

    by FishOutofWater on Wed Mar 06, 2013 at 09:51:05 AM PST

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      •  agree... (6+ / 0-)

        as someone who has had to come back from the depths of my own mental health problems AND has had to deal with the mental health problems of other family members, who seek to make everything my fault, I understand all too well when you have to refuse to help those who won't do anything to work toward their own recovery.

        It doesn't help anyone if we as individuals take on other people's mental health problems as our own battles; it only creates more problems.

        Words can sometimes, in moments of grace, attain the quality of deeds. --Elie Wiesel

        by a gilas girl on Wed Mar 06, 2013 at 12:08:41 PM PST

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    •  Personal ties? (8+ / 0-)

      Based on her description of her experience, Laura's ex was emotionally abusive to her.

      Even if she knew where he was and even if she had unlimited funds, if she were my friend, I would advise maintaining that boundary intact. If she wanted to help, donating funds anonymously to a men's homeless shelter in the area where he is located is the best I would I suggest. But of course, she can't, because she doesn't know where he is.

      Given that neither Laura nor her daughters  have heard from him in 1.5 years, it is possible that he is in transitional (or better) housing and getting his life back on track.  Hearing from Laura abruptly might derail his recovery (if again, that were possible)

      I'm sorry. But there are times when we must turn our backs on people in our lives in order to ensure that we ourselves can survive physically, emotionally and spiritually. Based on what I've read here, I think this is that sort of situation.

      Hungry individuals  and homeless individuals need help. I do as much as I possibly can to help. I think we all should.

      But directly reaching out and and personally helping someone who abused you is a terrible idea.

      © grover


      So if you get hit by a bus tonight, would you be satisfied with how you spent today, your last day on earth? Live like tomorrow is never guaranteed, because it's not. -- Me.

      by grover on Wed Mar 06, 2013 at 01:54:58 PM PST

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      •  Helping those I Can Help (6+ / 0-)

        Thank you for your comments, grover, they certainly do make sense and give some clarity. The other day, I saw a man with a "Homeless" sign and for the first time I gave money. I can help those who I encounter, hoping that others help my ex. My younger daughter plans on helping at a homeless shelter. We each do what we can do. Hoping that we each help those of us who are done. There but for the grace of God go I.

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