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View Diary: LGBT Literature: How to be Gay (70 comments)

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  •  I'm with you on so many points. (8+ / 0-)
    I've never shaken the notion that gay men are different from straight men, in a myriad of ways beyond sexual orientation. [. . .] Deny it if you choose, but I feel gay men share common interests with straight women. Expressing feelings, conversation, sharing emotions. I have two straight brothers. I might be able to prod a conversation about sports or cars or work, but they are emotional clams. They do not want to reveal their innermost feelings. whether that is innate or a social construct, I don't know.
    I also had two straight brothers (one is now deceased), and like yours, mine are "emotional clams."  I always tell my family that sports were invented so that straight men would have something to talk about with one another, since they don't feel comfortable discussing anything else.
    So I've always balked at assimilation. There are plenty of things about straight men I do not wish to emulate -- fist-fighting, starting wars and blowing things up. [. . .]

    Church membership, military service and marriage were never goals on my list but I fully support them out of fairness, not any burning personal interest.

    I've never been too keen on assimilation.  I find the ideas of the "gay liberation" movement more attractive.  That is, the goal of the gay rights movement should be to convince society to accept gay people as equals and to view our particular modes of living as just as legitimate as those of straight people.  And other than fairness, I personally see no great value in having gay people become part of the American military machine or members of the churches that have played such a key role in our oppression.  

    Finally and more broadly, I have always thought gay liberation should be viewed as part of the more general struggle for equality for all oppressed groups.  That's why narrow fights like marriage equality leave me rather cold.  Again, I support marriage equality on fairness grounds, and I want to see the same-sex marriage bans abolished because they're stigmatizing, but marriage equality is just not an issue I get personally excited about.

    "Ça c'est une chanson que j'aurais vraiment aimé ne pas avoir écrite." -- Barbara

    by FogCityJohn on Tue Apr 16, 2013 at 09:53:30 AM PDT

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    •  I agree with you (4+ / 0-)

      entirely. The gay movement has always been multifaceted. Gay liberation was/is about self-acceptance, while the push for equality (with the drift toward assimilation) was/is about legal and public acceptance. Assimilation is not the route I would have chosen to acquire equal rights or acceptance, but I must begrudgingly admit it has been an effective strategy, even if I personally view it as shortsighted and limiting. I don't know if I will live to see it, but I predict the pendulum will eventually again swing away from assimilation once rights are secure. I hope so.

      What about the climate cliff?

      by wayoutinthestix on Tue Apr 16, 2013 at 01:52:17 PM PDT

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