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View Diary: Shocking News: Men Rebut Woman's Mansplaining Complaint (93 comments)

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  •  women can be misogynists. it's about (1+ / 0-)
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    perpetuating a system of patriarchy, not about being of a specific gender.

    that said, I didn't write the letter. I am not the author of the other diary.

    the Tech Writer could have opted out of responding that email. He most likely doesn't respond to every single email. So, why choose one from a secretary and then try to tell said secretary that her complaints are invalid. particularly when he doesn't even address her actual complaints.

    I know that in this angelic world of absolute equal treatment to women, one must prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the underlying energy to this man's responses was grounded in patriarchy. Still, it is reasonable to think that he saw 'secretary' and unconsciously intuited the female gender and that his tone and disrespect and sudden lack of reading comprehension (he is a writer, after all, one would expect him to be able to comprehend what is written) might have something to do with that.

    But, you know, since we can't Prove it, we should probably berate the woman for even having the thought.

    •  Whoa, please. I understand (1+ / 0-)
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      where both you and the original diarist are coming from - I've had it done to me enough times to get really, really angry about it.  And I was an engineer at a time when women just didn't ever become engineers.  The number of times I've been told I shouldn't even hold the job I did, because I was taking the place of a man with a wife and family to support - well, it still triggers some major irk.

      In this instance, though, I was responding from a history of interacting with tech support for software - both using it and being it.  When your work status is tied in to your supposed knowledge of a product, it becomes harder to admit that gaps in that knowledge are of any major concern.  The best will always be willing to say they don't know the answer when that's true, but that leaves the other 90 percent playing this kind of game, no matter what gender they may be.

      Frankenoid may very well have been the victim of a misogynistic idiot, or maybe just of standard tech ignorance and hubris, which crosses gender barriers really easily.  The point is that I don't know, and the replies she got seemed to me to point to the second case.

      At least half the future I've been expecting hasn't gotten here yet. Sigh....

      by serendipityisabitch on Sat Mar 16, 2013 at 02:02:05 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  the bigger point is that when a member of (1+ / 0-)
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        an oppressed group cries out about an experience, it is damaging to put her on trial for whether her example is one you can affirm or not.

        the oppression doesn't happen in a courtroom. it happens every day, in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. There is an embedded coding system in communications designed to be resistant to the seeing the harm in an evidentiary hearing. Yet, when a member of the oppressed group cries out, that person is put under the evidentiary microscope and shot down for having the poor judgment to use an example others don't deem worthy. It's a game the oppressed can never win. Supposed comrades who play into the tactic are actually propping up the game.

        why even bother making statements about how you don't necessarily see it in this example? all that does is make sure that everybody understands that the evidentiary bar is very high for making complaints against oppressors. it is another mechanism in the perpetuation of the oppression.

        don't like the example? stay out of the conversation. don't lend a hand to the oppressor class by invalidating a member of the oppressed.

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