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View Diary: Rape: Anonymous but Silenced No More (142 comments)

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  •  To begin to understand sexual violence (9+ / 0-)

    and trauma anyone can start with Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence--from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror by Judith Herman

    Sexual trauma is not simply a problem for women and girls. Boys and men get raped and don't find it any easier to talk about.

    Childhood trauma, especially childhood sexual abuse can interfere with development of an "alert" system as both boys and girls grow up. It starts like this:

    "You deserved it."

    "You wanted it."

    "You didn't do anything to stop it."

    "If you tell anyone, I'll kill you."

    "If you tell, mom will call the police and they will take me away - forever."

    "You didn't report it, so it must not have been that bad."

    "You didn't do X, Y, or Z, therefore you must learn from your mistakes."

    "You didn't report it, so you are to blame for not doing anything about it."

    Enough with blaming the victims.

    A predator knows that people will question the story, will question the victim's choices, will question the victim's memory, will question the victims character.

    The predator counts on willingness of others to discourage, shame, and punish the victim.

    A predator will use all that and everything else they know about the victim's plans and dreams to dissuade the target from speaking out.

    "They did not succeed in taking away our voice" - Angelique Kidjo - Opening the Lightning In a Bottle concert at Radio City Music Hall in New York City - 2003

    by LilithGardener on Sun Mar 17, 2013 at 03:35:46 PM PDT

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