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View Diary: The Grieving Room: Love Survives (24 comments)

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  •  If I may (8+ / 0-)

    borrow a quote from a better wordsmith than I, "It is better to have loved and lost that to never have loved at all." Tennyson's words have been a backdrop for all of my loved losses. The entire staza reads:

    I hold it true, whate'er befall;
    I feel it, when I sorrow most;
    'Tis better to have loved and lost
    Than never to have loved at all.
    I might add my own to his words:
    What would being loved be like,
    when one has never known it?
    I have great hopes that you, Swedish Jewfish, can love and be loved. How wonder-full that you have found your right and true love. How wonderous that you loved Solan. Thank you for your story.
    •  If we love, when we love, it's never perfect, (7+ / 0-)

      in my experience, anyway.

      It's all shades of grey;
      little amounts of love,
      sometimes uneven,
      usually evening out,
      and if it's too small,
      we move on,
      to another lover,
      looking for a larger amount of love,
      and when it's very big,
      and it feels so strong,
      maybe it's all we can hope for,
      and we stop looking.

      But we still remember
      what it was like to search.

      And we know,
      if need be,
      we can search again.

      That's my poem on the topic.

      •  It's been an interesting night... (5+ / 0-)

        I've spent last night and tonight with an old friend of my husband's and her husband, whose first name is coincidentally the same as my husband's was. I am on my way back to my home in OR, after spending from mid-December to this past Tuesday with my younger son in FL (as some of you know already). It has been an interesting trip of discovery, and I have felt the "presence" of my husband (and lamented the actuality of his absence) many times already along the way.

        I know that he was the right person for me, at the point in my life that I decided to marry him. The love we shared is truly "the gift that keeps on giving," as his having been part of my life continues to enrich that life in new and unanticipated ways. I literally would not be where I am tonight, which is on Martha's Vineyard, (an amazing place on many levels) planning to leave in a few hours, having met in person earlier tonight, the poet friend from Facebook that I mentioned to you before, bigjac3, if I had not both loved, and lost my husband. He expanded my life and world when he was alive, and he (or his influence) continues to do so, even after his death.

        Even in my grief, I am discovering love to be a far greater and richer gift than I ever dreamed or realized before Andy came into my life.

    •  Thank you crose (5+ / 0-)

      I have a lot of hope too. Actually I'm pretty much past the hope stage-at this point, I know. We both do :) So my grief for Solan is different than it might have otherwise been. It's not so much about lost love, but the loss of the light he brought into the world. The fact that he was so young. The children he always wanted, but never got to have. The woman he was with at the time, I grieve for her, and her children. It was so obvious how in love they were. He was so close to his sister, they were inseparable and hung out every day. He was supposed to sing at her wedding that October-less than a month before he died. I still cry about that.

      Autumn had a little girl about 2 years ago, I think. She named her Solyn Grace, and from what I've heard she's already making music. Another beautiful example of how love survives.

      You must work-we must all work-to make a world that is worthy of its children -Pablo Casals Please support TREE Climbers for victims of child sexual abuse and exploitation.

      by SwedishJewfish on Mon Mar 25, 2013 at 11:42:39 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

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