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View Diary: When a nation says, 'We are sorry.' (238 comments)

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  •  and therein lies a problem (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Yasuragi, Denise Oliver Velez

    women cross state lines to give birth and surrender their babies in states that are more adoption friendly.

    case in point: the case of drill sergeant terry achane.  he was stationed in south carolina.  his wife (now, his ex-wife; but then, still married to him) was in texas.  she gave birth and surrendered their daughter in utah, without his knowledge or consent.

    it was 22 months before he was able to regain custody of his daughter.

    Terry Achane, Dad, Reunited With Child Given Up For Adoption Without His Consent (VIDEO)

    how about the case of benjamin wyrembek?

    Ohio high court right to unite father, son Read more at

    that man had to fight for three years  to regain the custody that he never should have lost.

    or veronica rose brown.  or any number of other cases that should never have ended in adoption.

    •  yikes! that's awful! (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Denise Oliver Velez, Tamar

      Those examples make the case for open adoption. In the case of my family members, they were considered ineligible by adoption agencies in their state because one or both of them were a year or two older than the agency allowed for adoptive parents.

      Their open adoption is a story of how adoption can go well for everyone involved. They met for many hours with the birth parents (and some of their family members) before the birth and after, and the birth parents have visited with them since. That child is so loved by all.

      The birth parents could change their minds about the adoption up to some period after the birth (I can't remember if that was two weeks or more). When I asked the adoptive parents if they were worried about the birth parents changing their minds, the answer was no, not worried, because the adoption had to be the right thing for everyone. Sure, they'd be disappointed but they were prepared and could live with that.

      “We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children” ― Chief Seattle

      by SoCalSal on Sun Mar 31, 2013 at 07:20:14 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  those cases (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Denise Oliver Velez

        make the case for regulation and legal protection of natural family rights, not open adoption.

        none - not one - of those babies was eligible for adoption.

        which is why those 'adoptions' were nullified and the children returned to their rightful parent.

        •  ok. (0+ / 0-)

          The point I attempted to make -- that with open adoption, as I understand it, each of the birth parents would be party to the agreement. I'll be the first to admit that there's much about adoption that I don't know.

          “We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children” ― Chief Seattle

          by SoCalSal on Sun Mar 31, 2013 at 08:54:41 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  both parents have to consent to any adoption (1+ / 0-)
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            that's why there were difficulties with these adoptions

            the fathers never consented, so the children were never available to adopt.   yet the kids were put into adoptive homes, and the fight to get them back was long and costly.

            this should never happen.  it could happen to ANYONE.   if this sort of thing is not addressed in adoption, then no one's parental rights are safe.  

             terry achane was away on active duty, and did not even know his child had been born, much less  misplaced.  his wife traveled to utah, a very adoption friendly state, to  give birth and surrender.  terry was on active duty in south carolina, and the couples' home was in texas.

            this is why federal regulation is needed.  

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