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View Diary: The Private Side of Republican Crazy (130 comments)

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  •  oh, sorry, I didn't mean to imply that my folks' (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Penny GC, Creosote

    rejection of assisted living is based in a fear of government. It arises from their entrenched paranoid inability to contemplate, let alone accept, the idea that they might be weak or imperfect in any but the most insignificant way. Needing help equals weakness equals unthinkable. (Of course the real weakness is the inability to look at reality and acknowledge that they aren't immune to aging, but this is not how they would see it.)

    Not to belabor this, but I hope to draw a distinction between people who become unrealistic-paranoid-rigid-fearful-resistant when mental or physical feebleness sets in, geriatrically, versus people like my parents, for whom such adjectives represent no change. You could have seen this coming when my folks were in their forties. I did see this coming when they were in their sixties. Maybe I'm wrong, but I suspect that the liberal and now "difficult" elders mentioned in these comments were more flexible and realistic during their prime.

    "Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom." -- Thomas Jefferson

    by pianogramma on Mon Apr 08, 2013 at 12:45:30 PM PDT

    [ Parent ]

    •  Very interesting pianogramma (0+ / 0-)

      this:

      It arises from their entrenched paranoid inability to contemplate, let alone accept, the idea that they might be weak or imperfect in any but the most insignificant way. Needing help equals weakness equals unthinkable.
      My parents were much like you describe yours to be (and I have no contact with them for good reason) and when they began to age, they became even meaner and quite out of touch with reality.  But where the light bulb just went off for me was now, finally, a certain behavior of theirs makes sense.

      When I would be sick or unwell, which was often related to their abusiveness, they would become far far more abusive.  As parents who saw no difference between themselves and their children, this was an inevitable response.  Now I understand why.  

      Thank you for an excellent diary.

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