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View Diary: The Private Side of Republican Crazy (130 comments)

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  •  Thank you for this great diary. Interesting, (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    pianogramma, Penny GC, ssgbryan

    well written, and thoughtful. It sounds like your father found a place in the world where he believed he could find some level of "success" and acceptance and fought tooth and nail to preserve the illusion. Anyone or anything that threatened that illusion was violently attacked, whether they be real or imagined, or persons, ideas, or social structures. All human beings create their own belief systems or reality structures of the world they live in and how they fit into it and feel threatened when that structure is called into question. It is only really sad and dangerous when that threat is answered with violence, the consequences of which litter our history both on the macro and micro level.

    Unfortunately, I can totally relate to your story although it was my mother who was the private abuser, both emotionally and physically. She even physically attacked me when I was in my early twenties and tried again on several occasions when I was in my thirties. Of course, she lied about the circumstances and/or reality of these attacks to my siblings and other relatives. I must say it is amazing what people will choose to believe or not believe, even when they have seen certain behavior with their own eyes, or have even been subject to the behavior themselves. Particularly when there may be a financial incentive. I finally just chose to stay clear of her and distance myself from several family members for purposes of my own sanity and self-preservation. It can be somewhat sad around holidays when everything is supposed to be about happy family's celebrating together and loving one another, and don't get me started on television shows where the mother and daughter have this awesome, understanding and loving relationship....but survival being necessary, one does what one must. I wish everyone who has suffered abuse at the hands of another, light at the end of the dark tunnel, and happiness with loving and understanding "others".

    One final thought, do not ever expect these people to apologize for their behavior. You waste precious time and energy if you do because they never will, it is part of their mental makeup which makes them the way they are in the first place. To apologize would crumble their whole carefully constructed fantasy. Not going to happen.

    "Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." - John F. Kennedy -7.8., -6.6

    by helpImdrowning on Mon Apr 08, 2013 at 01:38:57 PM PDT

    •  absolutely correct (4+ / 0-)

      Genuine apology would require a reorganization of their world view from the ground up. Won't happen. Demanding an apology was a good way to sever relations, though, because it put the onus on them: if they didn't like it, all they had to do was apologize. It played out as expected: they not only never apologized, they accused me publicly, behind my back, of murdering my mother-in-law. ("Because," my therapist was quick to explain, "they want to murder YOU.")

      "Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom." -- Thomas Jefferson

      by pianogramma on Mon Apr 08, 2013 at 02:02:57 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

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