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View Diary: Yesterday, I felt worthless & humiliated (174 comments)

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  •  Then why send her somewhere where at least one (9+ / 0-)

    person there will feel free to bully her? If not all of them.

    "Til you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules" John Lennon - Working Class Hero

    by Horace Boothroyd III on Wed Apr 10, 2013 at 07:04:33 PM PDT

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    •  Wow. (0+ / 0-)

      YES WE DID -- AGAIN. FOUR MORE YEARS.

      by raincrow on Wed Apr 10, 2013 at 07:14:59 PM PDT

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    •  Wow. (0+ / 0-)

      YES WE DID -- AGAIN. FOUR MORE YEARS.

      by raincrow on Wed Apr 10, 2013 at 07:32:59 PM PDT

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    •  Not all churches are like that (9+ / 0-)

      I can assure you that if she showed up at my church she would not be treated poorly.  In fact, depending on the day, she might encounter the GSA-like group that meets there.  Progressive churches do exist, however just like progressivism in general, it is under attack by selfish rightwing authoritarians, the very sort of people the Bible calls out.

      •  I'll tell you a secret. (10+ / 0-)

        The homophobes make sure you are out of earshot before they pull their shit.

        Could be as simple as giving me peanut butter and soy based items instead of something I can eat as they were instructed by the other staff and despite my protestations.

        You may have no problem with me. But there are those that do and they have no qualms showing me they feel socially superior.

        "Til you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules" John Lennon - Working Class Hero

        by Horace Boothroyd III on Wed Apr 10, 2013 at 10:04:01 PM PDT

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        •  Sounds like they're taking their "superiority" (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          Horace Boothroyd III, GAladybug

          VERY, VERY PERSONALLY.  Certainly showing it in ways that require REAL animus to contrive.

          Lord, I hates me some people, sometimes...

          I am a leaf on the wind - i hover, twirl, float,
          Weightless, frictionless, I fly

          by chmood on Thu Apr 11, 2013 at 06:07:33 AM PDT

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        •  I'm sorry you have had such experiences. (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          mayim, PinHole

          As others have said, and as I'm sure you know, not all churches are like that, and there are fewer of them every day.

          I can speak only for the Episcopal Church, but I know there are other churches (e.g. Unitarian Universalists) who like the Episcopalians welcome -- and help -- absolutely everyone.

          "The fears of one class of men are not the measure of the rights of another." ~ George Bancroft (1800-1891)

          by JBL55 on Thu Apr 11, 2013 at 06:25:51 AM PDT

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          •  Episcopal pastors are on my short list (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            JBL55

            of theologians I will discuss religion with. As long as they didn't go to seminary in England since the eighties, but I digress.

            I hate to tell you this but The church might not support homophobia. The pastor may not support homophobia. Most of the congregation may not support homophobia. But all it takes is one to ruin someones life. And THEY act as if they have the full force of the church behind them. Because they do, I can't even count the number of times I've been marginalized only to be told I was not when I raised the issue with others.

            "Til you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules" John Lennon - Working Class Hero

            by Horace Boothroyd III on Thu Apr 11, 2013 at 06:37:08 AM PDT

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            •  "all it takes is one to ruin someones life" (2+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              mayim, PinHole

              Sometimes it takes just one to turn one's life around, too.

              THEY act as if they have the full force of the church behind them.
              Few organizations are monolithic -- each one is made up of individual components.  Setting aside obvious exceptions like the KKK or the American Nazi Party, my rule of thumb about any random group of individuals, from Episcopalians to programmers to welfare recipients to veteranarians, is that 10% are assholes.  And those 10% make the other 90% look really bad.
              I can't even count the number of times I've been marginalized only to be told I was not when I raised the issue with others.
              I really hate it when those who weren't there question the outrage of those who were, those against whom the offense was actually directed.

              As a female in a male-dominated industry, I had to learn to ignore the sexism of co-workers, even my managers, drawing the line only at being paid less for doing the same job.

              But a job is different from a church.  Jobs are necessary for maintaining one's physical existence, while churches are all-volunteer organizations from which one can freely walk when the BS starts to fly.  Too many churches still operate under the delusion that people have to put up with shit when they don't, and these same churches wonder where everybody went.

              Anyway ...

              I truly hope your life isn't ruined, that you have found a way to not give assholes the power to ruin your life.  I was able to do it professionally, and it helped me to do that spiritually as well, since even the Episcopal Church has its share of assholes, and I seem to have a knack for running into that 10% on a regular basis.  

              Heck, one of the most recent run-ins was with an openly gay priest.  I had the idea that he was more enlightened than he was.  Fooled me!

              :-)

              "The fears of one class of men are not the measure of the rights of another." ~ George Bancroft (1800-1891)

              by JBL55 on Thu Apr 11, 2013 at 10:31:48 AM PDT

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