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View Diary: I feel I'm letting her down (Update: Mr. Scribe's Okay) (81 comments)

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  •  remember that dementia or alz. patients go in and (10+ / 0-)

    out of rational thinking...keep saying to yourself that she's not rational, so that you will stop thinking that she is.  you are expectiing a rational response and you won't get it.
    pls check the list at
    money worries and mistakes are one of the first signs.

    the extreme worry that older people have as they lose independence and decision-making capabilities is frightening to them.  they become so confused by it.

    as you know, it's a long difficult time for all involved.  there is no way around it, you just have to go through it.

    stay strong.  don't take it personally.  it's exhausting but it won't last forever.
    she needs you to be an adult.  and what goes around comes around.  you will want others to treat you well, so treat her with the love you'd want yourself.

    "A dollah makes me hollah"-- Stephen Colbert, pretending to be S. Palin

    by stagemom on Sun Apr 21, 2013 at 08:45:27 PM PDT

    •  This makes sense (7+ / 0-)

      remembering what my father-in-law was like before he died.

      Fortunately Mr. Scribe is on the checking account and his name is on the checks, so he can write checks on her account, and we can transfer money between accounts if necessary (might need the help of her financial planner for some of the big accounts, but we can access her savings account at the credit union and there's enough in there to get through for a few months). I'm not worried about the financial end, other than trying to get things together for last year's taxes and keeping things organized for this year's.

      There's only one rule that I know of, babies -- goddammit, you've got to be kind. -- Kurt Vonnegut

      by Cali Scribe on Sun Apr 21, 2013 at 09:00:41 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

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