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View Diary: The Sandy Hook decisions (34 comments)

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  •  I am sorry for your town... (5+ / 0-)

    I am sorry this happened anywhere  but I won't take back one word of what I said.   You must be one hard hearted person IMO if you think the healing is confrontation of such devistation.   It has been 40 some odd years since Nam and my husband still cannot do what many have done....Return..to that land.....Not all people can heal in the same way.
    Returning to a healed land has helped some vets and it has pushed some over the edge.

    We the People have to make a difference and the Change.....Just do it ! Be part of helping us build a veteran community online. United Veterans of America

    by Vetwife on Sat May 11, 2013 at 03:36:04 PM PDT

    •  Thank You (0+ / 0-)

      I've never been described as hard hearted, but there is a first for everything.

      What I'm trying to say, I think, is we can do better. We can't undo what has happened. Time does not heal all wounds (whoever came up with that was totally wrong). We can get to a better place, but we will never be whole again. We can use the tragedies of the past to make a better future, but to do so is not to forget about the past.

      I have no doubt you would actively choose to spare others of your pain. The question is, how do you make that happen? By avoiding or by confronting?

      •  Look.....a memorial is confronting (4+ / 0-)

        what do you call confronting?  Of course we can do better.
        Epecting little children to deal with those kind of emotions could scar them for life  even more than they have.  You cannot prepare adults for that much less children.   To me that IS hard hearted.
        Expecting things to ever be normal for those who attended that school will never be again.  That is a fact.  
        You know nothing about me.  You do not know if I have pain.  I do deal with others pain.   It is my diary though and I don't quibble with words.  I mean exactly what I say.
        I say exactly what I mean.   Arrogant?  I called explicit.
        Ignorant....not about ptsd.....and before you decide you know all about me .....I suggest you read some of my posts..You know nothing about me.   I also suggest you look up the word inconsiderate.   I don't like pie fights and I never said I was special.   I am in the sense that this is MY diary.

        We the People have to make a difference and the Change.....Just do it ! Be part of helping us build a veteran community online. United Veterans of America

        by Vetwife on Sat May 11, 2013 at 04:48:21 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  I Have No Doubt You Mean What You Say (0+ / 0-)

          and your heart is in the right place which is why I hold you in high regard Internet-wise. Not that it matters to you, but just letting you know my perspective.

          How long did it take for the Vietnam Memorial to be approved? Wasn't there a fight to receive recognition? Did we not as a nation (not that there weren't individuals like you who objected) avoid the entire matter, and to some degree still do so today, with regard to those who lives were torn asunder? All lives, not just American lives. This is mixing issues though and I'm not going to offer an opinion on PTSD other than I'm ashamed at how it is treated, or not, in both military and domestic circumstances.

          Do we raze Boston now? VA Tech? Columbine? Aurora? New York?

          •  I never avoided the Vietnam issue or the (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            Glen The Plumber

            trauma of war.  I was working with NCO/PO when I was 19 years old ..an employment service in Atlanta headquarted in Norfolk trying to get the returning veterans jobs.  I never avoided any veteran as most were kin and friend.  I worked side by side with Sen. Max Cleland and his aid for years.  I sought the truth to come out with the Winter Soldiers.   I never served in war but I have served the veteran as volunteer and employee for over 40 years,  I actually welcomed the Wall.   I have made more than one trip to the wall in DC.  

            There has never ever been a massacre such as that in Newtown.. No not even Columbine.  THERE IS a difference when we speak of kids that are just above toddlers.   Aurora?  Go back and look at one of my diaries where I wanted to tear that theatre down.   It's not like we don't  have money for war....we do.  People are too easy to forget the Congresswoman Gabby, the everyday killings, the Aurora's, the Virginia Tech's, all of this madness and something needs to bring it in focus.   A memorial would do that.  Nobody moves on from trauma... NO one.  They deal but they don't really go back to being the same.

              There has to be a reckoning regarding this gun violence.   As far as PTSD.it is ever present with those who have it and people have short memories and forget too easily of the deaths and the trauma that affects family...FOREVER.  Again I say..you do not know me.  

            We the People have to make a difference and the Change.....Just do it ! Be part of helping us build a veteran community online. United Veterans of America

            by Vetwife on Sat May 11, 2013 at 05:32:17 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

            •  "You Don't Know Me" is Rhetorical (0+ / 0-)

              The same could be said of you about me. What we agree upon is the current situation is not healthy, though it appears to be tenable. It's your decision to recognize, or modify, this or not.

              A memorial serves to recognize, but does it serve to heal or improve? We raze, build a memorial and move on. Is that the best we can do? Or by doing so, are we condemning future generations to the very pain we should in all conscience prevent by scapegoating with a memorial? Did the Vietnam Memorial stop the invasion of Iraq?

              A memorial is not the way to prevent future hurt. It is an important recognition of the past, but it does nothing for the future. It is a partial solution. The lessons of a memorial must be actively taught by people like you yet to do so is an uphill battle. I'm not saying memorials shouldn't be built. I'm saying their use is not what is sold to the public. Would you not be at peace now if they were?

              •  I enjoy a good debate (2+ / 0-)
                Recommended by:
                a2nite, Glen The Plumber

                but your train of thought I do not understand.   There will always be war..unfortunately but civilized people should ACT civilized and rememberance does help people realize that much was lost and no the wall did not help provent the Iraq war but then again if some of the chickenhawks could have respected the wall..maybe it could have.  

                A memorial is good.   Better. you bet... I suggest we implement gun regulation and  make some new rules for the NRA....

                If I had my way they would be fined strongly everytime they show up after a gun death pushing their agenda.  One day someone will sue them and sue them so horrific
                for emotional distress that maybe fines won't be necessary.

                We the People have to make a difference and the Change.....Just do it ! Be part of helping us build a veteran community online. United Veterans of America

                by Vetwife on Sun May 12, 2013 at 04:20:45 AM PDT

                [ Parent ]

                •  Sorry, I'm Slow (0+ / 0-)

                  Not so much a debate as an attempt at discussion and understanding. I've read a great deal of what you have written and agree, for the most part, or have been convinced by the consistency of your position.

                  I'm simply asking can we heal more? Can we do better? For my town and every other town or person?

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