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View Diary: I've called 911 and CPS, now what do I do? (101 comments)

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  •  quit staring at the nude kid for starters (4+ / 0-)

    Clearly someone in authority is aware of the kid and able to tell you he's different.  For some of us autistic people, clothing is a challenge - textures and skin do not always go well together in ways neurotypical people think they should.  Unless he's sitting bare assed in a snow drift and in distress or out in the middle of the street putting on a hand show - it's none of your business to report him for not liking pants at home.

    You are the one uncomfortable and those feelings are yours to deal with - not the kids.  He clearly has adults around - an adult who comes out protectively wanting to know what YOU want isn't automatically a sex perv for being male.  More likely the parent of a special kid who gets tired of strangers calling CPS on them all the damn time.

    And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...

    by Mortifyd on Mon May 06, 2013 at 09:40:00 PM PDT

    •  Until I have read these comments tonight - I had (10+ / 0-)

      no clue autistic kids had issues with clothing. And societal norms seem to indicate you should not be buck ass nakkid in public, I would not be so harsh on the diarist. The child in question is far beyond the age most of us know for kids to shed their clothing and run around nude. If I drove by everyday and saw an 8-12 year old hanging in the front yard nude - that would be totally creepy and I would probably call CPS myself.

      if a habitat is flooded, the improvement for target fishes increases by an infinite percentage...because a habitat suitability index that is even a tiny fraction of 1 is still infinitely higher than zero, which is the suitability of dry land to fishes.

      by mrsgoo on Mon May 06, 2013 at 09:53:18 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Man, the child's safety is prime. (8+ / 0-)

        I guess we should just never try to save a kid from possible harm.

        I agree with you mrsgoo.  

        I would rather spend my life searching for truth than live a single day within the comfort of a lie. ~ John Victor Ramses

        by KayCeSF on Mon May 06, 2013 at 10:08:58 PM PDT

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        •  Completely agree with you (4+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          tharu1, pierre9045, susans, KayCeSF

          and mrsgoo. Glad the OP found this to be a safe enough community to bring up the concern.

        •  Harm can mean neglect too. (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          KayCeSF, tharu1

          If the kid is in the sun day in, day out, unprotected by sun, that's not healthy. If his parents are in dire straits and can't afford decent clothing that fits so he'll wear it, that a concern too. How is a passer-by to know?  If I drive by once, I wouldn't inquire. If its a daily pattern, I'd be concerned.

          Stopping by the local neighborhood police precinct to inquire doesn't do harm. It could do a lot of good.

          I used to be a  Mandatory Reporter . The whole point was that it wasn't up to us to make the determination what was abuse or neglect,  but to leave it to those who could investigate. Yes, that has time and location limitations as to the "mandatory-ness." But many/most of us would still prefer to report and be wrong than not report and be wrong.

          Citizens at large (at least in the states I've lived) are encouraged to report and let authorities take a look. Better to protect our most vulnerable citizens even if it causes some  inconvenience to their parents and caregivers. If this child has special needs, he (and his proclivity to run nude) is already in the system.  No need to mock well-intentioned citizens doing what we've been told to do: looking out for the least among us.

          The snotty comments in this diary, especially those suggesting some sort of untoward behavior by the diarist, are really out of line.

          © grover

          So if you get hit by a bus tonight, would you be satisfied with how you spent today, your last day on earth? Live like tomorrow is never guaranteed, because it's not. -- Me.

          by grover on Tue May 07, 2013 at 09:49:44 AM PDT

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          •  Thank you grover. (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:

            All you said, kiddo.

            I would rather spend my life searching for truth than live a single day within the comfort of a lie. ~ John Victor Ramses

            by KayCeSF on Tue May 07, 2013 at 09:51:01 AM PDT

            [ Parent ]

          •  the diarist was repeatedly informed this issue (0+ / 0-)

            and this child were ok.

            By the police, who knew about it.
            By CPS, who knew about it.

            The diarist was also approached by a parent or guardian on the property and refused to ask the questions they are so concerned about.

            There is ZERO evidence this child is being neglected or abused.

            Seeking out approval for refusing to accept the information given by the police, CPS and refusing to discuss the issue with the parent - that's not concern, it's busybodying.

            And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...

            by Mortifyd on Tue May 07, 2013 at 04:08:34 PM PDT

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      •  Meh. Societal norms. (3+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Kevskos, Lowgun, Mortifyd

        I would be fine with more people being "buck ass nakkid" in public.  If anything, it would probably decrease sexual harassment, as most of us actually look worse naked than we do with clothes.

      •  Some do, some don't (0+ / 0-)

        But nearly every autistic person has to learn social norms through explicit teaching. They just don't catch on by automatically copying what other people around them are doing.

    •  Thanks for the input and I agree with your points (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Rolling, KayCeSF, susans

      but just to be clear, I never stared at the nude kid...
      I made eye contact with him a couple of times as I rode by and he looked scared, that is all.

      You can go almost anywhere you want if you just keep walking

      by tharu1 on Mon May 06, 2013 at 09:57:15 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  but you seem to need to made a big deal out of it (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        tharu1, YucatanMan

        and seek public reassurance you "did the right thing" AFTER being told by the authorities they know, he's "special" and his parents are working on it - and his parent probably wondered what YOUR deal was.  

        You think they aren't aware that you called CPS and the cops?  Given that the cops gave you the scoop - you aren't the first one to call the cops or CPS on them.

        That you keep riding by and didn't actually express your concerns at all when given the opportunity - hey, I noticed little Bub there doesn't seem to be wearing any pants from the road, is that normal for him? - but called the cops on them assuming they were bad parents?  Way to be neighbourly.

        You did the same thing with the cat colony.  Didn't bother to ask if they were working on neutering the feral colony or had neutered them, just chewed them out because CATS EAT BIRDS OMG.

        So both diaries of yours I've read have been seeking reassurance that your decisions to interject yourself without seeking information and listening to it are acceptable behaviour.  Perhaps you should think about that a little before you go for number three in the one person Hawaii intervention crusade of things you are shocked by.

        And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...

        by Mortifyd on Mon May 06, 2013 at 10:09:23 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  Saw the other diary when it first appeared and (3+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          tharu1, Mortifyd, Kevskos

          have to agree here:

          seeking reassurance that your decisions to interject yourself without seeking information and listening to it
          Given the scant information we have to go on, my reaction is that the diarist is a bit alarmist in general.

          The police and CPS have been informed. It's out of the diarist's hands.  If he/she wanted more information, he/she should have asked the father when the chance was at hand.

          Aside from all the comments made about the various issues with some children, there are a whole lot of people in the world who don't feel that nudity is a huge scary BF deal.

          If this is about molestation, a nude child won't cause a 'regular person' to molest a child and a molester won't be deterred by a clothed child.  

          So, the diarist alerted the authorities - all of them - after skipping the chance to talk to the father. In my book, that earns a PITA-neighbor award.

          So, the diarist asked what we thought - that's my opinion.

          "The law is meant to be my servant and not my master, still less my torturer and my murderer." -- James Baldwin. July 11, 1966.

          by YucatanMan on Mon May 06, 2013 at 11:19:36 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

    •  Hello (3+ / 0-)

      It is the kid who needs to learn to wear clothes when in public, not the person who sees him naked and worries, who needs to change.

      It may take time, if he is special, but he needs to learn before his sexual urges kick in and then he will be in trouble.

      Nudity is for special places and company. That's how it is for most Americans. That is what the boy needs to be taught, as he is able to learn it. It's not a matter of shame, but a matter of social mores and safety.

      Give the diarist credit for genuine concern. Imagine how different the official reactions would be if this were Connecticut or Delaware, and not Hawaii.

      Read over the stories of mentally disabled people who've been tasered, beaten, and killed by police if you think safety isn't an issue.

      •  i'm with you. (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        marina, tharu1

        "...i also also want a legally binding apology." -George Rockwell

        by thankgodforairamerica on Tue May 07, 2013 at 06:51:01 AM PDT

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      •  in the privacy of their own yard is NOT (0+ / 0-)

        public, no matter how much people seem to want to make it so.

        This child is in NO danger of being tazed or killed by the police - the po po informed "helpful diarist" that the situation is under control and they are aware of the kid and his needs to a level of detail the diarist is not involved in.  They are working with the parents and the child - not against them.

        The diarist refused to take the opportunity given by the adult watching the child to ask for clarification.  

        The diarist was informed they are not the first person to contact the authorities.  

        The diarist then made a hand wringing diary asking for public support of their inability to accept the information provided by the police and CPS and admitted their refusal to seek information from the parent on the scene.

        I am both autistic and schizophrenic, I am VERY aware of the danger we can face from both authorities and "helpful" citizens like the diarist.

        Had the police and CPS not been aware of the situation then maybe the concern is warranted.  Had the parent not made a point of asking the diarist how they could help them - the diarist might have a legitimate concern.  But in this case, the police, CPS and the parent all made efforts to educate the diarist and the diarist dismissed all of it to seek public affirmation after the fact.

        Leave the kid alone.

        And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...

        by Mortifyd on Tue May 07, 2013 at 04:03:27 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  None of this erases the fact (0+ / 0-)

          that the boy is the one who needs to grow and change, not the general public. Also, he is getting away with this because he is young, and it's
          Hawaii. An adult in my state would not be treated the same way, would likely be arrested and put on a sex offenders' registry. That is something to worry about.

          I understand your concern about the diarist, but would rather a person express their worries to the correct authorities, than to ignore what could be a dangerous situation.

          I must say, you seem very functional, considering your ailments. My brother was schizophrenic also, but he was one of those who steadily deteriorated until the end of his life, after decades of turmoil including police encounters.

          Like you, he resented anyone "all up in his business" but unfortunately, for him that meant he ate spoiled food, soiled his clothes, and destroyed much of what he had, including his physical health and his home.

          •  I'm on good meds (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:

            and I live with my parents, which helps at the moment.  I wasn't doing so well on my own the last couple years.  I have a fairly mild form of schizophrenia and that helps - and I respond very well to the medication.

            Yes, the child has to adapt, but clearly in this case he is adapting slowly, lives in a warm environment and the police, CPS and the parents are monitoring the situation - additional monitoring by random people is not needed.  He's also a child, and doesn't live in your state - so worrying about his potential issues as an adult is frankly jumping the gun.

            And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...

            by Mortifyd on Wed May 08, 2013 at 05:30:42 AM PDT

            [ Parent ]

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