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View Diary: When did you choose to be straight? (150 comments)

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  •  Absolutely correct (5+ / 0-)

    The religious right had a banner day last year when the actress Cynthia Nixon made these controversial remarks in a New York Times interview.

    "I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me. A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not."

    "Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate? It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate. I also feel like people think I was walking around in a cloud and didn’t realize I was gay, which I find really offensive. I find it offensive to me, but I also find it offensive to all the men I’ve been out with."

    Of course the bigots ran with this, proclaiming they had all the proof they needed that being gay is a choice. John Aravosis was among the first to criticize her.
    "It's not a 'choice,' unless you consider my opting to date a guy with brown hair versus a guy with blonde hair a 'choice. It's only a choice among flavors I already like... every religious right hatemonger is now going to quote this woman every single time they want to deny us our civil rights."

    Cynthia Nixon skillfully clarified her remarks the following week, but the religious right still trots her out as proof positive we are faking it.

    "While I don't often use the word, the technically precise term for my orientation is bisexual. I believe bisexuality is not a choice, it is a fact. What I have 'chosen' is to be in a gay relationship.

    As I said in the Times and will say again here, I do, however, believe that most members of our community -- as well as the majority of heterosexuals -- cannot and do not choose the gender of the persons with whom they seek to have intimate relationships because, unlike me, they are only attracted to one sex."

    In the context of bisexuality, yes, the world is your oyster of choices.
    •  Right (1+ / 0-)
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      melo

      I didn't choose to be bisexual, but I can choose whether I want to be in a homo or hetero relationship.  It just happened to work out that I found an opposite gender partner who is the love of my life, but given different circumstances, I could have been in a same sex relationship.

      The Girl Who Loved Stories
      I’m a feminist because the message is still "don’t get raped" not "don’t rape"

      by Avilyn on Sat May 11, 2013 at 10:24:26 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

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