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View Diary: Thank You, Daily Kos, For My Quilt. (171 comments)

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  •  Holding you in thoughts and prayers (3+ / 0-)
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    Avilyn, winglion, Dave in Northridge

    In some ways, this time is harder to deal with.  The shock is over, the sense of emergency adrenaline that sustains and carries through all of the immediate after-death activities is gone.  People check in, but are also busy about their own lives.

    All that is left is our memories and the empty space where our beloved once was.  

    Things do, eventually, settle into a "new normal," but even that is hard, because letting things settle into a routine means admitting that life is starting to become livable, even without the beloved person's presence in it - and that can feel like a betrayal of their memory.

    Laughing, smiling, forgetting about the loss for a brief time can be precursors to even darker sadness and loss.

    The other part is how loss can just insidiously sneak up and flatten us.  One second, we can just be laughing and joking about sports or a really bad outfit, and, in a split-second, a smell, a trick of the light, can just bring it all crashing down again.

    It will get better.  Someday, the crushing weight will ebb.

    Meanwhile, please do reach out if there is anything we can do.  Praying for you, my dear brother in Christ.

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