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View Diary: Sergio Garcia is a Racist, and Adidas/TaylorMade Should Drop Him (65 comments)

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  •  "to those I offended" (10+ / 0-)

    This is a standard line in apologies these days.  Sometimes it's tempered with "I may have offended."

    It feels like about a decade that this has been the in vogue way to apologize.  It seems to me that it is a blatant attempt to deflect responsibility.  It makes the apology qualified, by saying, "I'm apologizing to you only if you were offended," thus, at least partially, implying that the listener has a choice whether or not to be offended, as if the matter is not clear.  

    A good apology takes responsibility, without any such qualification and without putting any burden on the hurt parties.  Whenever I hear a "to those I may have offended" apology, the apology offends me.  At this point, I actually don't always think the apologizer is meaning to express reservations, but is just following the recently-established convention, as if this is the script for an apology now.  The irony is that you almost must add this "to those I offended" line because it's expected and nobody spends a minute thinking critically about it.  

    If I wanted to write a sincere apology, it seems like it would be easy:  "I made a comment last night that was racist.  I should not have said what I said and I know that, in saying it, I hurt people.  I am deeply sorry and hope that I will learn from this experience and be a better person in the future."

    Is that so freaking hard?  Anything short of that, to my mind, is not a sincere apology.  It's an apology with reservations, which is the equivalent of ticking off a box ("phew, got that over with").   We should start holding people as accountable for their shitty apologies as we do for whatever they did in the first place to require the apology.

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