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View Diary: Lessons from the Dementia Diner (88 comments)

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  •  Such a touching Diary/Account (4+ / 0-)

    I understand the Lady through your few, eloquent words.  I shared some of the same impulses (helped abused children, foster children, juvenile justice clients and their families).  The work was fulfilling and exciting but draining and exhausting - sometimes to an extreme.  That truth cannot be ignored.

    I remember visiting my own mother in a nursing home here in Florida - each day.  I took her flowers from her yard.  I took her magazines and made sure she had a good TV and simple things like ice water and clean blankets and bed linens.  I did resent the obligation I felt to go each and every day.  I overcame that selfish impulse however.  Now that I am older and will soon be in need of the same tender mercies (as they say) I doubt that my son and his family are up to the task.  I prefer to handle as much of it myself as I am able - to the end.

    "Old age is like an Army coming in and taking you hostage."  I read that in a beautiful short story about an old man who lives in a village in Italy.  Each day he sleeps late, walks down into his village - speaks with the villagers who are out and about - has dinner and wine at a local restaurant - then makes his way home after drinks and socializing with other villagers.  I am following that man's lead and living my life - at age sixty-six, somewhat like him.  Slow and mellow and sweet.  Fortunately I have VA medical care and just enough income to cover living expenses and a few amenities.

    I am grateful.  I understand grace and gratitude.  

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