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View Diary: Philly Case Workers Fired for Placing a Black Child With a White Couple (24 comments)

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  •  You consider it normal parenting (1+ / 0-)
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    ExpatGirl

    And more power to you. We don't know what the potential adoptive mom thinks, though. We know only one question she was asked, and one brief response she made. If that alone is all there was, then she might not have learned fast enough that the world is different for other races. On the other hand, there might have been considerably more back and forth between the worker and the mother that could have illuminated the thinking of either side. If so, we don't know what it included.

    “Texas is a so-called red state, but you’ve got 10 million Democrats here in Texas. And …, there are a whole lot of people here in Texas who need us, and who need us to fight for them.” President Obama

    by Catte Nappe on Tue Jul 02, 2013 at 01:05:36 PM PDT

    [ Parent ]

    •  You've got a point (4+ / 0-)
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      Catte Nappe, myboo, asym, Cassandra Waites

      and after I hit send I realized that I knew absolutely nothing about the potential parent in question. I made and assumption and ran with it.

      It took a lot of effort to make sure my children had regular exposure to strong black male role models. It was all the more difficult because we were in South Africa and the legacy of Apartheid is still strong in the Cape Town townships. I wanted my children to understand that the life of desperation they had viewed as normal, wasn't, it was engineered. It took a long time for some of my older children to transition their thinking from a 'survival' POV to a 'building for the life I want' POV.

      There aren't nearly enough movies or TV shows with strong black male role models or strong black family units. Making sure your child isn't constantly bombarded by ugly racial stereotypes in entertainment often means taking the time to watch things before they do. I was constantly vigilant about anything that I felt carried subtly degrading messages. I don't enjoy the townships (not safe!) but spent time their anyway to keep the connection strong. I support traditional coming of age practices (even though I hate them, if you know what I mean). Picking subjects for school projects can be a much longer process when the goal is also to build on pride in being black. I asked non-white male employees I admired to spend time mentoring and answering questions. The list goes on.

      I was wrong in my original statement. There is a lot a parent of white children gets to take for granted. Thanks for coming back to me on it.

      •  erg. "spent time THERE" (0+ / 0-)
      •  Very graciously stated rethinking (3+ / 0-)
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        ExpatGirl, asym, Cassandra Waites

        And it seems you did, in fact, have to do some things very differently to be the best parent you could for your children. To some degree every parent probably does go places and do things that wouldn't be their choice as they nurture a childs interest in sports or music or dance or science or..... But it does seem to me that it's got to be more consciously intentional for a parent raising a child from a different race and/or culture.

        “Texas is a so-called red state, but you’ve got 10 million Democrats here in Texas. And …, there are a whole lot of people here in Texas who need us, and who need us to fight for them.” President Obama

        by Catte Nappe on Tue Jul 02, 2013 at 01:51:14 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

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