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View Diary: THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP TODAY! Son-in-Law Fired After 3.5 Years of Emotional Torture (194 comments)

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  •  The only thing to fear is fear itself. (5+ / 0-)

    I don't think my work performance is as amazing as your SIL's, but I faced similar situations with abusive bosses before who were on my case for no reason other than they were jerks. Even abusive people who are not your bosses but hold more leverage than you in your workplace, can make your life hell. Unfortunately, a big chunk of my worklife has been spent in 3 places that answer the accepted definition of "abusive workplace".

    9 times out of 10, the best thing to do is to get out of these situations. Interestingly, "easier said than done" is the wrong proverb here, it is really "easier done than contemplated" - or as my comment title says, the only thing to fear is fear itself.

    My guess is if you SIL has hung on so long while others walked out, is that he's risk averse to do such a thing as leaving? For some people it is nearly impossible, mentally.

    I also have a family to support, and I know how paralyzing that knowledge is esp. for men. And how devastating to one's self-worth is being fired (or even laid off), even knowing that justice was on your side.

    In short, what I'd like to say is

    1. Send my best wishes and encouragement to your SIL. Remind him that his bosses and their antics don't define him, only he is allowed to define himself.

    2. This might turn out to be the best thing, career-wise, that has happened to your SIL in 3.5 years. The job market is not where it was in 2009 or even 2010. It is much better nationwide. Sounds like your SIL can find many good refs (those middle managers who had walked out, say?). And last but not least, working in a place with reasonably decent people compared to working with abusive jerks, is worth more than millions in the bank, and even more than professional interest/challenge.

    Having your life become shorter because of workplace abuse is rarely worth it.

    All the best to your SIL, please keep us updated!

    Assaf

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