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View Diary: THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP TODAY! Son-in-Law Fired After 3.5 Years of Emotional Torture (194 comments)

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  •  Never understood this mentality, to be honest (2+ / 0-)
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    War on Error, lastman

    I can assure you that the majority of my aunts, uncles, and cousins are doing just fine in the emotional and financial well-being front, despite our tradition of letting grown-up kids stay at home through college, through hard times, to save up for houses, or frankly just because we're freakin' family and we don't have this bizarre drive to push family out the door the moment their 18th birthday comes around.

    What you call love I call a strange custom---and nothing more than that, certainly not an objectively better way of doing things---and one I am glad is not present in my cultural upbringing. It's definitely not love to let one's children and grandchildren go without food, shelter, or other support when bad fortune strikes them just to teach them some misguided lesson about "independence."

    •  I never said let children or grandchildren go (0+ / 0-)

      unsheltered or unfed.

      Where I live, there are numerous shelters for the unfortunate that have fallen through the cracks.

      If truly nothing is available, then the assistance should be in the form of a loan, as that is what's fair.  I want a genuinely loving and equitable relationship with my daughter, not one where she feels obliged because of financial hooks.

      I also don't think college kids need to be out the door.  It  depends on whether they will abide by the boundaries set forth by the owner.

      My college aged daughter gets 80% of her support from me.  She will look into financial aid as she settles into college and she works part time.

      There are many people that never give their children the opportunity to grow up.  You're painting with too broad a brush.  It's like teaching a kid to swim, eventually you let loose but you're there to pick them up if they start to go under, but learn to swim they must.

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