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View Diary: Adoption Series Part 1 - Bitter Truths (101 comments)

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  •  The Flashing Neon Sign In All of This is of a (13+ / 0-)

    system dreadfully underpaid and understaffed to do its job well.

    On a personal note, a very great many of us raised by genetic parents know the experience of having traits that put us outside their ability to understand us and to help parent us in many situations.

    Because of appearance and resonance with peripheral family members, I have less than no doubt I was raised by my biological parents. But the constant bouts of their headscratching over what to do with and about me, rarely a month went by when I didn't wonder about many adopted kids feeling themselves to be alien in their families.

    Actually both my sibling and I regularly speculated that one or the other might've been adopted. We had been told that our parents when young marrieds had been medically advised that childbearing would be a challenge for them, so we had that extra factoid to add to the pile of speculation.

    The whole puritan * sex * guilt worldview is seriously messing up this issue which might otherwise be much more straightforward to greatly improve.

    We are called to speak for the weak, for the voiceless, for victims of our nation and for those it calls enemy.... --ML King "Beyond Vietnam"

    by Gooserock on Sun Sep 29, 2013 at 09:35:37 PM PDT

    •  No (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      AllisonInSeattle

      Not dreadfully underpaid.  At all.

      There are bonuses paid by our taxes for placing children in new homes.

      The adoption industry has their own lobbying group, the National Council For Adoption.  

      •  There is either a $4,000 or $6,000 fed bonus for (8+ / 0-)

        placing a child in a "new" home. This is when the child is in foster care. Get this--

        The extra $2,000 comes when the child is removed from current foster home, and placed in another home to adopt. Even if the child had been in the first home for two years or more. Even if the first foster parents wanted to adopt. Even if the child wanted to be adopted by them.

        The original idea was to stop children from being abandoned in the system until they age out. The current reality is sick, with HUGE incentives for foster care social workers to make sure children are adopted vs returned to relatives.

        Example: Wonderful grandparents want child, social workers ignore them and finalize adoption for non-related foster parents. I mean, this happens thousands of time yearly in our country. I know a State Rep who tried to help grandparents get back a child they'd had extensive time with--could not succeed.

        There are things happening surrounding adoption that are so sick that at first glance they are unbelievable.

        This health care system is a moral atrocity. Dr. Ralphdog

        by AllisonInSeattle on Mon Sep 30, 2013 at 03:37:26 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  Regulations (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          Tonedevil, pitbullgirl65

          How can the removal of children be so unregulated?

          I think that any child, once surrendered, is legally in foster care until their adoption is finalized.  So agencies and their support staff earn federal bonuses regardless of the age or circumstance.

        •  That explains the brother and sister who were (3+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          oortdust, worldlotus, pitbullgirl65

          separated from their foster care family because the brother was placed with another family...even though the foster family was the preferred family to the children.

          The extra $2,000 comes when the child is removed from current foster home, and placed in another home to adopt. Even if the child had been in the first home for two years or more. Even if the first foster parents wanted to adopt. Even if the child wanted to be adopted by them.
          Sick is right. Had no idea.  

          "You are not even aware of what is possible. The extent of their capabilities is horrifying."Edward Snowden -6.62, -6.92

          by CanyonWren on Mon Sep 30, 2013 at 06:38:55 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

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