Skip to main content

View Diary: Adoption Series Part 1 - Bitter Truths (101 comments)

Comment Preferences

  •  ladijules, I am so sorry that your early life was (24+ / 0-)

    so hard.  It was cruel to take you and your sister from loving people who wanted to adopt you both and place you separately.  Couldn't agree more that the adoption industry is indeed an "industry."  It was operating in my day.

    In my own case, yes, it was expected that we would relinquish our children. We were teenagers, unskilled, with no money, told we were "unfit" to be parents because of our "immorality." Our children would go to "nice people" who were married.

    My mother was not going to allow her grandchild to be adopted by strangers, so she arranged for her childless younger brother and his wife to adopt my daughter.

    Years later, after we reunited, my daughter told me a great deal about her early life.  It wasn't a bed of roses at all, despite the fact that her parents were, and are, in extremely affluent financial circumstances. She grew up with the same questions as you:  "Why didn't my birthmother want me?  Who do I look like?"

    She suffered because of this. As for me, I was so damaged emotionally that for more than 30 years I resembled one of those artifacts excavated from an ancient grave--looking all right on the outside but totally hollow, dry as dust, on the inside.

    To make a long story short, my daughter found me just before she married and now we are each other's best friend, even though we live 1,500 miles apart.  As much as possible, I'm a presence in my grandchildren's lives.  I love her dearly, and my other children, her half-brothers, look on her as their sister.

    Our story has ended well, but not without a great cost of scenes, tears, and misunderstandings.  Thankfully, we're past all that now.  I'm happy to report that when I broke the news of my daughter to her brothers, separately (through happenstance, not by design), the first question out of each boy's mouth was, "How soon can she come to see us?"

    Thanks for sharing your story, ladijules, and I hope the rest of your life will be as happy as the early part was miserable.  Thanks most of all for getting the word out that adoption isn't necessarily the marvelous thing it's been made out to be.

    "Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."--Napoleon

    by Diana in NoVa on Mon Sep 30, 2013 at 05:15:01 AM PDT

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site