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View Diary: Adoption Series Part 1 - Bitter Truths (101 comments)

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  •  Quite a story. (13+ / 0-)

    Parents' "playing favorites" with their children happens for various reasons. In certain African-American families, I've heard of lighter-skinned siblings having more privileges and opportunities than darker-skinned ones. In other families, I've heard of one child being grossly abused, while other children are cared-for, because maybe the father always suspected the child wasn't his. In still other situations, the parents really didn't want a child of that gender. On and on. Always heart-breaking stuff.

    And here it was happening to your own flesh-and-blood. I'm sorry.

    It's here they got the range/ and the machinery for change/ and it's here they got the spiritual thirst. --Leonard Cohen

    by karmsy on Mon Sep 30, 2013 at 06:33:20 AM PDT

    [ Parent ]

    •  But Adoption itself is creating Russells (0+ / 0-)

      You're right that children can be singled out for many reasons.

      However, you don't seem to acknowledge that adoptees run a significantly higher risk of being rejected than bio children. The child who is singled out is often the child who looks different or who has a different temperament from other family members, and of course the adoptee is more likely to be different.

      Any birthmother would want to take failure rates (as many as 25% of boys in domestic adoptions) into account before giving her child to strangers, but look at any Agency brochure, and you will see no mention that adoption places a child at higher risk for delinquency, abuse, or suicide.

      And when problems escalate in the teenage years, as in the case of my son, the troubled teen industry is there with a high-ticket solution marketed to affluent adopters. The worst are prison-like camps, often unregulated, like the one my kid was in for years. Marched around, screamed at, deprived of privacy and freedom, with charming adoption therapies that included being forced to write letters expressing gratitude for being adopted. The fact that an industry has been created to warehouse discarded adoptees demonstrates that something is very wrong with current adoption practices.

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