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View Diary: Adoption Series Part 1 - Bitter Truths (101 comments)

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  •  Tough diary to write, and then to read as an (22+ / 0-)

    adoptee. I was told I was adopted at 2, that I was "special", because they picked me out. I felt special all right, especially singled out for dislike and abuse.

    I do have a faint memory of my first three months in the hospital, as I sometimes need to go to sleep with bright lights on. Somehow I sleep deeper, and think that memory goes back that far. Also, I have to have clean cotton next to my skin. Again, I think that goes back to sitting in dirty diapers for those first few months.

    My first memory is of comforting my crying brother. Our adoptive mother was lying on the floor playing dead, after saying, "You children have killed me!" Think I was about three.

    From then on, my memories include my adoptive mother saying, "My troubles began the day I carried you through that door." Needless to say, she was one very neurotic individual, with serious anger management issues. I became the subject of her unrelenting rage, and have scars all over my face and hands from my encounters with her. I never raised a hand against her, but internalized my rage, which later came out in very self-destructive behavior.

    It's good to read of the responsible adoptive parents on this thread. Children need good parenting, and a loving home is definitely the best environment for the kids. But not all adoptions are so fortunate. This diary does a good service in bringing out more facets of the complex adoption issue.

    So long as the bourgeoisie control the cultural institutions which define social reality, they will set the basic rules of debate and thereby control the range of possible outcomes. ~ Antonio Gramsci

    by 4Freedom on Mon Sep 30, 2013 at 07:54:32 AM PDT

    •  4Freedom (5+ / 0-)

      So very sorry you had to go through that. Adoptions are, indeed, complex, and not fairy tales in most cases.

      "You are not even aware of what is possible. The extent of their capabilities is horrifying."Edward Snowden -6.62, -6.92

      by CanyonWren on Mon Sep 30, 2013 at 06:44:10 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  There are scars and difficult memories, but there (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        CanyonWren, KateCrashes

        is also the knowledge that I can survive tough times, and that has helped me cope with many situations others seem to find overwhelming. It has also built my empathy for others, because so many people have undergone severe stress that I can readily understand and appreciate what they have been through.

        As is said, what doesn't break you, (hopefully) can make you.

        So long as the bourgeoisie control the cultural institutions which define social reality, they will set the basic rules of debate and thereby control the range of possible outcomes. ~ Antonio Gramsci

        by 4Freedom on Tue Oct 01, 2013 at 07:28:10 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

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