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View Diary: Judge calls a 13-year-old "predatory" after she was raped by a 41 year-old. (278 comments)

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  •  Why so dubious? (4+ / 0-)
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    Sparhawk, gramofsam1, Subterranean, NYFM

    If the girl was already sexually active there is every possibility that she is the one who initiated the situation. I remember a few very sexually active and somewhat aggressive girls in my school when I was that age.

    To be very clear, in no way does the possibility that she was sexually experienced or aggressive excuse the behavior of the 41 year old man and he should be punished for the crimes he committed. But to suggest that there is no chance whatsoever that the 13 year old girl was the one who initiated the situation is being intentionally naive. Not every young teen is a sexual saint but in the end it doesn't really matter and shouldn't matter because she's still protected by law.

    •  You may want to look up (8+ / 0-)

      "Cathy S. Widom & Joseph B. Kuhns, Childhood Victimization and Subsequent Risk for Promiscuity, Prostitution, and Teenage Pregnancy: A Prospective Study, 86 American Journal of Public Health 1607 - 1612 (1996)."

      Early promiscuity is a warning sign that a child has been subject to sexual abuse. This scumbag most likely re-victimized a victim of childhood sexual abuse, and is using the indicator of her past victimization to excuse himself from having to behave as a rational, responsible adult.

      Those aggressive children you knew in school had probably learned that there was only one allowable way for them to gain acceptance/approval.

      •  It's always absolutes, isn't it. (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Sparhawk, NYFM

        Instead of saying "early promiscuity is a warning sign that a child may have been subject to sexual abuse" it's always a definitive result of abuse. There's never the possibility that some kids discover early that they like having sex because it feels good. Apparently teens and preteens aren't allowed to become sexually aware and discover their likes and dislikes about sex until reaching some magical age dependent on the state or country in which they reside. And if they do explore and act on their budding sexual desires then it's always because they suffered abuse.

        You'd rather find someone to place blame for a young girl's natural exploration of her sex drive instead of allowing that it may be her own nature to enjoy and want sex. It's disgusting that you automatically assume that girls I knew in school were so incapable of exploring their sexuality on their own terms that the only acceptable explanation is that they were taught that it was the only allowable way to gain acceptance or approval.

        •  I think the main difference between this case and (1+ / 0-)
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          radical simplicity

          the examples you gave were in no way comparable.

            Usually when a young girl is exploring her sexuality on her own terms, she usually starts out with masturbation, etc. Then later on she usually goes with boys around HER AGE who are going though the same exploration phrase.

            The boys she has sex with is basically on the same level as her--utterly inexperienced, and is just finding out that they enjoy sex. But the most important thing is that it was all on her terms, with no outside influences who might had promoted her into doing it. They usually don't go for adult men that old out of their own free will, unless the adult men were deliberately exploiting some vulnerability or ego that they had.

            With adult sex offenders, many often groom their victims into thinking that they WANT it, and so the victims may even start engaging the predators themselves. I remember reading this particularly revolting account by an pedophile on how he would trick 6-year-old girls into saying "yes" and even initiating the sexual encounters themselves. Basically, he would leave porn of all kinds just laying around and playing on repeat or walk around the house naked while the other adults were away. He did this in order to make those girls curious enough so that they would ask him sexual questions, etc. He would then make it seem like a fun game that adults did together, and often he would ask them if they felt grown-up enough to do it.
           He was exploiting a young girl's desire to be seen as being mature enough, adult enough even though they had no true idea what any of that really meant.
           So those girls was blindly saying how they wanted to play that fun adult game, and even aggressively going after the man on camera in a very sexual way.
           The worst part was that the pedophile was totally justifying his actions by saying that all those 6-year-olds totally wanted it, despite the fact that he had deliberately set up the whole thing to seem appealing to a 6-year-old even though they had no idea what was going to happen then.

           Now, a 6-year-old and a 13-year-old girl is obviously different in terms of mental maturity. surely by that age most 13 year olds know of bad touch, and many sexual terms. But there's just no way to tell if a 13-year-old was actually tricked into thinking she really wanted it or if she was actually sexually pursing the guy.
           considering the fact that most sexual predators go after girls that young and that they certainly don't give a crap about her well-being other than what they can get from her...
            I think it's safe to assume that all older men who have sex with 13 year olds are just evil perverts who tried to claim that SHE was the "predator" when it was really the way around.

        •  It's not "natural exploration" (1+ / 0-)
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          Aurora Moon

          When it happens between a young child and a middle aged man.

          Also, it is statistically more likely that girls 13 and under who are "aggressive" (your word) sexually are not simply exploring their sexuality. Exploring tends to start mildly with hesitancy and curiosity, and change as the teen becomes older, more emotionally mature, and empowered as they reach adulthood.

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