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  •  Surgeon General weighs in: (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    indiemcemopants, LynneK, ozsea1, laurnj

    Americans Have Gigantic Fat Asses

    WASHINGTON, DC–According to a report released Monday by the Surgeon General's office, 67 percent of Republicans U.S. citizens have gigantic fat asses, with that number projected to climb significantly in the next decade. . .

    The strongly worded report, in which Republicans Americans are alternately described as "porkers," "wide loads," and "friggin' whales," attributes the fat asses primarily to poor eating habits, with diets heavy on sugar, starches, and saturated fats. It also cites Republican's Americans' lack of exercise and sedentary lifestyles as factors in the trend toward "huge bucket-butts."

    In addition, the report found that roughly 185 million Republicans Americans are "flab-ass flabbos who couldn't say no to a candy bar if their fat, stupid lives depended on it." It went on to warn that those with "gargantuan, sun-blocking rear ends" stand at greater risk of conditions ranging from heart disease to hideousness.

    This ain't no party. This ain't no disco. This ain't no foolin' around!

    by Snud on Fri Apr 02, 2010 at 08:20:39 PM PDT

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