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Please begin with an informative title:

tomorrow it will be three weeks since my Husband of 27 years and my lover of 4 years longer got sick with a fever and cough...  it was a sunday.

On January 17... 4 days later this strong man I loved with all my heart DIED of complications of FLU.

He was my lover, my Husband, my ONLY confident, my best friend for over 30 years and my sole caretaker as I am wheelchair bound.  he was the sole financial supporter ofour household and basically the only family I have save a disinterested sister.. we had no children :(  

The shock of his death is massive... 5 days before he died he was perfectly FINE... life was normal... I was happy and in love

I am just now coming out of a basically catotonic state and realizing I am facing MORE then the lose of my greatand dear Husband.. I am facing serious and major life changed due to my disabilities and having no one here to help me...  I need help to know how to deal with this and who to turn to for that help and How I can survive without him and not end up sitting in a nursing home staring into space while I wait to join my Husband in death :(

Dont know where to turn... or what to do...  or how I can do it from a wheelchair :((((


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Originally posted to KnotIookin on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 10:02 PM PST.

Also republished by KosAbility, Kossacks helping each other, Positive Intention and Lovingkindness, J Town, New York City, Elders of Zion, and Community Fundraisers.

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