Okay, while it isn't actually REAL poop (well mostly it's not real poop) - you don't want this in there.

I'm not going to address the allowable level of rodent feces in hot dogs here.  I'm not even going to extoll the dubious virtues of GMOs or the addition of propylene glycol (automotive antifreeze) and MSG to what you chew up and swallow.

This is an entirely different problem, and it's all about cheats and lies and greed.  And you're probably eating some of it.  Eeeew!

I shall pause here for this Fleur de Kos from your local web page . . .

I'm keeping this short for a couple of reasons.  Mostly because I don't want to type a bunch of crap that you have no interest in reading anyway and I'd rather just give you the link to the meat and let you get on with being pissed off while I sneak back into my quiet little corner where I belong.

How about this?  The "100% lemon juice" you buy might be as little as 10% lemon juice.  The rest?  Sugar, water, and citric acid derived from dubious sources.

Not a problem?  Alright.  Try this one:  That organic tea you love so much?  How about the idea that it may contain "lawn clippings."  Yes, as in grass from your neighbor's front yard.  The yard where Butch the bulldog enjoys his morning constitutional.  I didn't promise that there would be NO poop!

Not bad enough you say?  Alright.  This one will get you, I promise.  Paprika - a commonly-used spice not only in households but one used by restaurants nationwide could contain any of the following:  Lead oxide, lead tetroxide, or any of the "Sudan dyes" (I, II, III, and IV) - three of these four dyes having been classified as Category 3 carcinogens (I don't know what a Cat. 3 carcinogen is) and banned from all food by the EU, Australia, and New Zealand.  Some other nations, too.  Like South Africa, I think.  Sudan IV can be dissolved into . . . the propylene glycol I mentioned earlier.  Run the Sudan Dyes through Wikipedia.  Eeeesh!

The list goes on.  Milk, honey, coffee, cooking oils, syrups, and spices are all on the list.

Iky-poo, right?

The hero in all of this?  NOT the FDA.  Certainly not the FDA.  The FDA is a government agency and that means that it has been compromised by either a lack of funding, a skin-tight relationship with the industry it is supposed to oversee, or a complete dental extraction by Congress itself.

No, the hero in this is a little-known and rarely-heard-of independent lab that goes by the initials "USP" - the U.S. Pharmacopeial Convention.  You may have seen "USP" on some medical supplies like a bag of saline or (more commonly) on the back of your favorite multivitamin bottle.  They're a purity lab.  They test medicines, ingredients, and foods to make sure that they are what they claim to be.  Their link is provided below.

Alright.  This is where you and I part company, dear reader.  Here are the links to follow and some of the things to do when you get there.  Enjoy.  [Burp!]

The ABC News story about this.  Read the thing, then also click the two video links in the left-hand column for more facts and figures that will just piss you right the hell off.

The USP homepage.  This explains who they are and what they do.  Cool stuff.  I'd be tempted to advocate government funding for them, but that would only corrupt these nice people and turn them into just another FDA.

The Food Fraud Database courtesy of USP  This is USP's "Food Fraud Database".  Click the "Search" tab.  You type into the search box what you want to know about (like "lemon juice" or "paprika") then click "Go".  Then a second later, click "Go" again.  (They're chemists and lab geeks, not webmasters.)  No brand names are listed - probably to help prevent billions of dollars in lawsuits for telling the truth about the shit that corporate food producers are foisting on us.  I'd prefer that they tell us who the cheating, lying, poisoning bastards are, but this IS a non-profit and when you see the video report, you're going to understand that these are nice, nerdy people who wouldn't know a subpoena from a submarine and they don't look like they're way over-funded.

Your Email has been sent.